Call for Feature Essays About Any Aspect of Popular Culture, Present or Past

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Text:AAA
Friday, Jul 11, 2008
Poor Gordon has seen better days.

Hey, didja know there’s a Wii version of Hell’s Kitchen coming out this year?  It’ll even have a virtual Gordon Ramsay berating you after every misstep (though the unfortunate ‘T’ rating ensures that Ramsay will be a bit toned down from his TV self; I don’t think you can tell someone to “f(beep) off” and keep a ‘T’ rating…unless, of course, Ubisoft decides to fix this by inserting an audible beep where the “uck” would be, in keeping with the TV show, which would actually make me unnaturally happy.


That said…who else thinks Gordon’s devilish (ha) good looks have kind of gone down the drain in his video game rendering?  He looks a little bit more like a clean-cut Nick Nolte (with oddly wavy hair) than himself in this screen, and while his mouth is contorted in rage, his eyes scream indifference.  Also, his right cheek is in danger of falling off his face.  That’d be a nasty surprise in a plate of risotto.


Still, I have to play this game, if only for the fact that I keep dreaming up features like character customization, implemented for the sole purpose of hearing virualRamsay shout inappropriate things like “what’s wrong? Can the munchkin not reach the pot of boiling f(beep)ng water?!”


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Thursday, Jul 10, 2008
The appeal of the secondhand / vintage shop is spreading to the arena of video games.

If you’ve looked at the PopMatters front page recently, there’s a good chance you’ve seen the recent (and ongoing) set of features dealing with the world of secondhand books.  If you haven’t seen them, go look at them, because each and every one of them thus far is an interesting, absorbing look into either an individual store or the culture of the used bookstore in general.


Squeee!  Pitfall!  Perhaps my first video game love.

Squeee!  Pitfall!  Perhaps my first
video game love.


Perhaps because of the increasing age of the average gamer, or perhaps simply because there are enough different games out there to support it, we are starting to see a similar sort of phenomenon in video games—that is, more and more of the so-called “mom ‘n pop” stores that deal in games are bringing in lots of business dealing in vintage.


Being based in Buffalo, I didn’t really see this happening until recently—not until the last couple of weeks did I even realize that a shop dealing in vintage games even existed in this city, given that most of the web hotspots for locating such things (the Cheap Ass Gamer forums, the AtariAge forums, and so on) seem to leave a gaping hole where Buffalo should be in terms of shops in which to buy my old Nintendo / Dreamcast / Genesis / etc. games.  As such, any travel to another town is an immediate excuse to look up the possible vintage gaming destinations.  A trip to Columbus this past month revealed a number of potential hotspots, most notably a place called “BuyBacks”.


Now, BuyBacks isn’t your typical mom ‘n pop shop; at least one of their locations looks more like a competitor to Best Buy from the outside than anything else, though the Ohio State location was at least commingling with the rest of the shops in town.  Even so…wow, is it a rush to have an alternative to the GameStop / GameCrazy block that I’m used to. 


This makes me happy in unquantifiable sorts of ways.

This makes me happy in unquantifiable sorts of ways.


I popped in to a few other shops in Columbus, and came back with a treasure trove of stuff…Metal Gear Solid for the PS1, Qix Neo for the PS1, Sneak King for the Xbox (hey, it was $1.99 and I didn’t even have to give my money to Burger King), Faxanadu for the NES…it felt like everything I’d been missing in Buffalo.  There’s something beautifully tactile about walking into a vintage games shop and being able to see what’s there; there’s a certain smell in the air when there’s that much beat-up plastic in the room.  Sure, I could get pretty much everything on eBay or Craigslist or even used on Amazon, but online browsing tends to be so search-based that who’s to say I wouldn’t miss out on some little secret treasure?  Did I even know that Qix Neo existed?  Goodness no.  Would I ever have remembered the joy of Faxanadu if I didn’t see it on a shelf between Ice Hockey and Gotcha!?  Not likely.


Vintage shops are where we can indulge in a minor case of arrested development and recapture the joy of walking into the toy store and seeing, say, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link up there on the shelf in all its golden glory.  Even better, Zelda II won’t even cost you $69.99 (+ tax!) anymore.


Vintage gaming also invites us to remember a time whenbox art had something in common with Harlequin novels.

Vintage gaming also invites us to
remember a time when box art had something
in common with Harlequin romance novels.


Vintage game shops will likely never approach the notoriety or the popularity of the best secondhand book stores, if only because unlike a book, the appeal of a vintage game is limited to a shrinking few who might have a console that can still play the game.  There just aren’t all that many people floating around who have working Intellivision systems anymore, meaning that a store that chooses to stock Intellivision games is severely limiting the number of people who might have any interest in buying something off that section of not-all-that-cheap shelf space.  The only time you see a similar issue with books is through language disparities; the truth is, most people who frequent a bookstore will at least be able to read almost anything on that bookstore’s shelves.  The same can’t be said for the game shop.


Still, more and more aging gamers (such as myself) are finding joy in playing, in the most pure way possible, the games of their youth, and discovering games that they may have missed all those years ago.


Retrogaming fans might want to check out the excellent newsletters at Retrogaming Times Monthly for some good reading that’ll bring you back.  Or, you could join The Brainy Gamer’s newly established (and highly informal) Vintage Game Club, if you actually want to participate in the discussion.  Me, I’m off to scratch the itch at a Buffalo-based shop that copious Googling eventually uncovered.  Hopefully, it’s worth the search.


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Text:AAA
Tuesday, Jul 8, 2008
Apparently, L.B. read one too many ludology versus narrative debates and decided to have a little fun...by writing a narrative about video games and plot getting divorced, from the perspective of plot.


Caught in the Act


Oh my God! Video Games! You’re home early! I…I don’t know what to say. Look, this is just a one time thing. It’s just some cheap book I found, okay? I promise the story will be dumb, I’ll hardly give her the time of day. Her name? Oh…I think it’s ‘Catcher in the Rye’ or some silly thing like that. You’ve never met her. Don’t shout at me like that! Don’t turn it into a showdown. You know what I mean, turning it into a competition where there is only a winner and a loser. You always do that! Everything has to be a score or a strategy. It’s not like you’ve never cheated on me before. I’ve seen you with those fancy visual graphics cards. “Oh what will plot care, I’m fun and you look good.” You think I don’t hear that kind of stuff? You think it doesn’t hurt me? Literature and I go way back. She’s kind, she doesn’t complain about my linearity, she doesn’t…oh, come back! Of course I think you’re art! I didn’t mean it like that.


 


The Fight


Yeah, I’ve had a bit to drink. So what? As soon as I have a couple of beers you get all fidgety and stop working. You know what? A plot like me needs a couple of beers. Sometimes more than a couple. It’s called relaxing. It’s not like you even know the meaning of that. You’re always demanding I do this meaningless nonsense. Level up the character before this scene. Let me have a sidequest. But I don’t want her to die, let me choose something else. Waah, waah. Everything is a skill tree to you. You think you’re gonna find emotion in a skill tree? You think you’re gonna find compassion? When are you ever there for me? When I’m doing something sad, you just sit and wait until you can fix it. That’s when you’re even willing to sit there! Every time I want to have a cutscene it’s just bitch, bitch. I wanna talk, me me me. You said you don’t get to talk enough when I’m telling a story, well I’m saying you can’t talk all the time either! You talk about experience. You know what I experience when I’m with you, Video Games? Do you know what happens when I finally get to the end? You making some insane last boss that makes me want to give up. I get to the end, I’ve told this great story, I’ve put up with all your bullshit, and then you save the biggest challenge for the end. When is the end of a story supposed to be the damned hard part? You could at least have the hardest level be in the third act when the conflict is peaking! Where are you going? Don’t turn your back on me, video games! Oh no! No plot twist this time. No amnesia back story, there’s no skipping this cutscene. We’re through, do you hear me? I want a divorce. Plot and video games…are no more.


 


The Divorce


I want dialog trees and map exploration. You can keep the dungeons and booby traps, but I want joint custody of crypts and underground cities. Because we already agreed you didn’t get to keep fantasy settings, Video Games. Alright, alright, take the Pokemon. It’s not like they’re happy without constant grinding anyways. I’m keeping the photo mechanic too. Oh, like you even used the thing! We already agreed to keep joint custody of art & design, so it’s not like they won’t still be able to use it. I…aw geez, don’t cry. I thought we agreed this was for the best. You can just…use a scan visor or something. I don’t know what it will say! Have it give the monster’s stats. Hey, okay, okay. It’s both our faults, alright? Look…take the Wii Fit. Yeah, take it. It’s not like I can do anything with it. You said yourself half the time you don’t even know why you keep me around. Well, half the time I wonder the same thing about you. We’re just not meant for each other. I want to tell a linear story that brings out emotion and…I guess I just don’t know how to deal with your interactivity. Damn video games you just…you keep wanting every story I tell to be about winning and player input. I can’t always do that. Not if I’m going to be true to myself. Hey, keep survival horror. Yeah, really, I mean it.


Ten Years Later


Oh wow, how’s it going? Its been ages! Yeah, yeah I’m fine. Me and Interactive Fiction started dating after you and I ended things. Lots of exploring gorgeous landscapes, talking to people, maybe pick some stuff up. We try to keep the challenge at really easy though, keep things smooth. She’s good to me, y’know? I don’t make her go through every little scene I think up and she respects my talking time. But enough of that, how are you? You look great! I hear about you and virtual reality all the time in the news. You finally got that light saber thing going, huh? Still griping about the physics and all that? Ha…man, I can’t believe I ran into you like this. Y’know, people still ask about you. About us, really. I can’t tell you how many times someone asks me to do the insult swordfighting gag. And Christ, Bioshock, no one will shut up about that one. I keep telling everyone I left half-way through, but they just shout me down. Remember Portal? I bet you do. You talked about that night like you coul-… I, no, yeah. Sorry, that was inappropriate. It’s weird, we used to fight so much. You got so mad at me for Lair. And I still don’t know if I can forgive you for making me show up to your Super Mario Galaxy party. But still…we had some good times. We should get together again.


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Text:AAA
Monday, Jul 7, 2008
New releases for the week of 2008-07-07

If you stare at this week’s release list long enough, you can hear crickets chirping.  Try it.


...


See?  We’re into the sparse weeks of summer, where the games that are going to keep indoors for the season have pretty much all been released, and the winter holiday season is but a breath of anticipation, months away from beginning.  So what’s on tap for this week?


This is Civilization Revolution.  Good times.

This is Civilization Revolution.  Good times.


Civilization: Revolution: looks like a winner, and so far, it’s been pretty well-received, so we’ll go with that.  The problems with translating PC-style strategy games to consoles is well-documented, particularly given most consoles’ lack of a mouse.  There are lots of PC-to-console strategy attempts, but most of them do one particular thing wrong: namely, they try to exist as straight-up ports of the originals.  So far, it seems that Civilization Revolution has avoided this pitfall, making it a must-buy for console owning sim-whatever fans.


Of course, as Joystiq points out, any game that features the physical presence of Napoleon hovering over everyone else is a little bit suspect.


Antonio Fango, one of the suspects in Nancy Drew: The Phantom of Venice

Antonio Fango, one of the suspects in Nancy
Drew: The Phantom of Venice


As for the rest of the offerings, the Wii offers lots of kids’ stuff, most notably a little bit of easy entry into the Final Fantasy series in the form of Final Fantasy Fables: Chocobo’s Dungeon, which could be a fun way to scratch the RPG itch with my kids around.  Sega has the officially licensed version of the 2008 Olympics on the way (though I suspect I’ll stick with Mario and Sonic, thank you), Unreal Tournament 3 is another PC-to-console port which might be worth looking at if the whole multiplayer FPS thing is cool for you, and hey! Nancy Drew!  Adventure fans who are sleeping on Her Interactive’s Nancy Drew series of computer games are actually seriously missing out.  Yes, even if you’re not a teenage girl.


Seriously, though, I’m off to give Civilization Revolution a look.  I’ve gotta knock that Napoleon down a few pegs, after all.  The full release list is after the break, with a Civilization Revolution trailer to get you as excited about the thing as we are.


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Text:AAA
Wednesday, Jul 2, 2008
Excited as anybody by the upcoming DS re-release of Chrono Trigger, I'm curious as to what makes it such a well-regarded and influential game.

Did you hear?  Did you?  Chrono Trigger is coming out for the Nintendo DS.  Chrono Trigger!


Of course, anyone who has witnessed Square Enix’s recent track record when it comes to re-releasing their old RPGs and still happens to be surprised by this isn’t really paying attention.  Chrono Trigger, which gained the majority of its notoriety as a classic RPG for the Super Nintendo, has already been re-released once, as part of Final Fantasy Chronicles for the original PlayStation, complete with a few bonus cutscenes created for the purpose of giving the included games a reason to live on the PlayStation.


Like a lot of kids who were just getting in to the whole “video games” thing in a big way during the time of the SNES, I simply didn’t notice Chrono Trigger amidst a sea of Final Fantasy games; my time with the SNES was limited as I didn’t own one, and the only RPGs that I ever played at my friends’ houses were variations on the Final Fantasy name (II/IV, III/VI, Secret of Mana and so on).  Phantasy Star was my drug of choice, RPG-wise, and Chrono Trigger barely registered a tick on my still developing hype meter.


As such, despite the fact that Square Enix might just be releasing another port for the sake of a quick buck at the hands of a ravenous fan base (most recently exemplified by The Brainy Gamer’s assembly of his RPG class syllabus and the drooling posts from some of the major blogs), I’m pretty excited about this, as it’s the first time I’m seeing Chrono Trigger during a time in which I’m actually likely to care (the PlayStation re-release came and went while I was transitioning from Nintendo 64 to PS2, unfortunately).


My question, then, is this:  What makes Chrono Trigger better than, say, Final Fantasy IV?  Or VII, for that matter?  Why should I play Chrono Trigger ahead of more advanced fare developed specifically for the DS, like the Pokémon games or Atlus’ Rondo of Swords?  It’s obviously an influential and beloved game, but why?  Or would it be better, at this point, to be surprised?


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