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Tuesday, Dec 23, 2014
Holiday horrors come in all cinematic shapes and sizes. Here are ten terrible titles destined to put the "Oh No No," not the "Ho Ho Ho" into your yuletide season.

Christmas—or, in the more PC vernacular, the holiday which occurs sometime in December—is supposed to be a celebration of peace on Earth and goodwill to all humanity. Instead, it usually ends up being a nightmare of unbridled commercialism, long retail shopping lines, endless fattening foodstuffs, and a reminder why you don’t spend more time with your family the other 364 days/11 months out of the year. It’s also a trying time for people suffering with depression, as suicide rates seem to escalate along with partygoers cholesterol and diabetes rates. Part of the problem is entertainment oriented. There are lots of wonderful songs, TV shows, plays, and films which expertly capture the yuletide spirit. But for every classic, for every A Christmas Carol or “White Christmas”, there’s an ‘RXmas or a “Mary, Have You Heard”.p


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Monday, Dec 22, 2014
The Italian oddity Werewolf Woman has all the lunacy and nudity you'd want from such a title, plus a little meat on its bones.

Werewolf Woman opens with a sequence calculated to have exploitation fans lining up at the box office, as they apparently did in Italy at least. A couple of centuries ago, a furry woman with huge black nipples rolls around growling. She stalks a handsome torch-wielding villager before she’s finally burned at the stake. But wait—it’s all a dream! Our confused heroine Daniela (Annick Borel) wonders if she’s the reincarnation of this spitting-image ancestor, or rather drooling image, and we seem to be in well-trodden horror territory of the kind explored in Mario Bava’s Black Sunday, especially when Daniela recognizes her hunky sideburned brother-in-law as another reincarnation from her dream.


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Thursday, Dec 18, 2014
Following massive hacking and numerous attack threats, Sony has decided not the release the political comedy The Interview. Here's why that is a bad idea.

It’s the hack still being heard around the world, a surreal situation made even more bizarre by the reaction of the target and the accompanying response from the community. Before Sony succumbed to the pressure put on it by a shadowy group known only as the “Guardians of Peace”, which led to the studio pulling the proposed Seth Rogen/James Franco political comedy The Interview from distribution, it was simply dealing with the collective face egg that comes from your private corporate business becoming Reddit fodder.


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Monday, Dec 15, 2014
Hands of a Stranger never works as suspense or horror, but it is odd in its own way, particularly for those fixated on hands.

This uncredited remake of Maurice Renard’s oft-filmed novel The Hands of Orlac takes an entirely psychological approach to the story of a man who has a killer’s hands grafted onto his wrists after an accident and finds the original owner’s murderous impulses taking over. In fact, we never learn the identity of the hand-donor who gets murdered in the opening sequence, and therefore we never know if he’s a killer.


Sensitive concert pianist Vernon Paris (James Stapleton, aka James Noah) is a beautiful fellow of delicate cheekbones. “I like music and I don’t think I’m a sissy,” he smiles. Even before the operation, he’s established as a putative neurotic who may be too close to his doting sister (Joan Harvey) and overcompensating with his shallow girlfriend (Irish McCalla). When he’s accidentally responsible for a couple of deaths—including one of the quickest and most unconvincing in cinema, comparable to the absurd defenestration in The Man with X-Ray Eyes—he blames the hands, the cursed hands!


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Thursday, Dec 11, 2014
This trip through the sands of Technicolor is more pretty than it is anything else.

Sigmung Romberg’s operetta The Desert Song has been filmed thrice. This 1943 version is the middle one, updated to 1939 on the eve of WWII. After being in limbo over rights issues, it’s now available in beautifully restored Technicolor from Warner Archives. Like its romantic couple, it’s both pretty and dull.


In the French colony of Morocco, some tribes are revolting. They’re willing to declare their loyalty to France for justice, but they’re being exploited by a local bigwig (Victor Francen) who’s forcing their labor to build a railroad in a secret deal with the Nazis. It’s not clear how their labor issues will be resolved after the French government takes over the railroad project (maybe they’ll be paid), but the movie ends before that. Meanwhile, the leader of one tribe, who calls himself El Khobar (Dennis Morgan), has a secret identity as an American piano player in a nightclub. A visiting French songstress (Irene Manning) falls for the way he sets her politics straight.


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