Idris Elba, Jay Hernandez, Michael Ealy, Tip “T.I.” Harris, Chris Brown, Hayden Christensen, Steve Harris, Matt Dillon, Paul Walker
Takers has two problems facing it that have little to do with storytelling and everything to do with star power. The first is that one of the main players in the film, rapper T.I., is currently finishing up a stint in prison on weapons charges. Secondly, co-star Chris Brown is still carrying around the stain of spousal abuse from his assault on the singer Rhianna. Even with Matt Dillon, Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba and Dork Vader Hayden Christensen on board, it will be tough for this heist film to overcome said subtext. Maybe newcomer John Luessenhop can find a way to overcome controversy and bring the legitimate thrills back to this crime thriller.
Nanny McPhee Returns
Emma Thompson, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Ralph Fiennes, Rhys Ifans, Maggie Smith
Nanny McPhee Returns
Like last month’s Cats and Dogs return, this is another oddly out of step sequel. Honestly, was anyone in the modern mainstream marketplace begging for a return of this fugly Mary Poppins-esque entity? While Emma Thompson is one of England’s top talents, wouldn’t her muse be better served on something not so… antiquated? This time around, Nanny comes calling on the Green farm, where a harried mother tries to keep things together while father is away at war. Add in the usual unruly brats, a smattering of UK eccentrics, and the title character’s combination of magic and message and you’ve got a fun family film that, frankly, no one was really asking for.
Jennifer Aniston, Juliette Lewis, Jason Bateman, Jeff Goldblum, Patrick Wilson
Jennifer Aniston is looking for a man to get her pregnant. When that fails, a turkey baster does the trick (this is in the actual press materials, people). Seven years later, best friend Jason Bateman shows up to tell her the special sperm she thought she was using was actually some one else’s… his. Are you laughing now? The only saving grace amongst this pile of preposterous poo… Blades of Glory‘s Josh Gordon and Will Speck are behind the lens. Perhaps they can wipe that Lifetime movie patina off this pathetic excuse for a laugher and make it a rude and raucous time.
Bow Wow, Brandon T. Jackson, Naturi Naughton, Teairra Mari, Keith David, Charlie Murphy, Gbenga Akinnagbe, Terry Crews
Bow Wow (no longer Lil’) is in possession of a piece of paper worth $370 million. His scheming family and neighbors want to relieve him of said burden. Unfortunately, it’s the Fourth of July weekend, which means our hero has to wait three days before he can cash-in and call for back-up. Urban anarchy ensues. First time feature filmmaker Erik White has little experience with such a massive Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad, Mad World ideal (his claim to fame - directing videos for the R&B quartet B2K). Still, the cast is commendable, and Ice Cube is on board as Executive Producer, so who knows? Maybe this will be a grand ghetto blast.