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Conan the Barbarian

Director: Marcus Nispel
Cast: Jason Momoa, Rose McGowan, Bob Sapp, Stephen Lang, Ron Perlman, Rachel Nichols

19 August
Conan the Barbarian


This film is the exact opposite of Captain America for us. Why? Well, it’s not the source. Few remember the literary basis for this muscled marauders adventures (he got his start in short stories, not comic books) and most live action retellings have been haphazard, to say the least. No, it’s because our favorite fright film reimaginer, Marcus Nispel is behind the camera (he of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and Friday the 13th remakes). No one finds the serious undertone in otherwise genre junk better than this intriguing former music video director. While the jury is still out on his non-horror efforts, macabre goodwill should carry us through to the end of the Summer season.


 

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Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World

Director: Robert Rodriguez
Cast: Rowan Blanchard, Mason Cook, Jessica Alba, Joel McHale, Jeremy Piven, Antonio Banderas, Danny Trejo, Alexa Vega, Daryl Sabara

19 August
Spy Kids 4: All the Time in the World


Robert Rodriguez is soooooooo frustrating. Instead of getting on with the projects we want to see from him (Sin City 2, a Barbarella remaqke), we are stuck watching him waste his time with more questionable (yet profitable) kid vid fare. This time, instead of a collection of Shorts, it’s back to the franchise that earned him millions in small fry fame. In what has to be seen as a reboot, the former kids of the title, now teens, will mentor a pair of new super spies as they try to take down an evil villain known as The Timekeeper. Except a lot of action and splashy CG eye candy…if little else.


 

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Final Destination 5

Director: Steven Quale
Cast: Nicholas D’Agosto, Emma Bell, Tony Todd, Jacqueline MacInnes Wood, Miles Fisher

26 August
Final Destination 5


Apparently, the word “final” means very little in the Tinseltown vernacular. After the whopping success of the last installment in this invisible Grim Reaper as Jason Voorhees/Rube Goldberg death machine series, there was no doubt that Hollywood would be hoping for more. This time, it’s the collapse of a suspension bridge that leads our “survivors” to face a one-by-one pick off by the forces of super-nature, and one can envision a lot of blood spattered F/X (and, perhaps, another dose of that dismal visual gimmick, 3D) to get those last few dollars out of ready to return to school pockets.


 

Since deciding to employ his underdeveloped muse muscles over five years ago, Bill has been a significant staff member and writer for three of the Web's most influential websites: DVD Talk, DVD Verdict and, of course, PopMatters. He also has expanded his own web presence with Bill Gibron.com a place where he further explores creative options. It is here where you can learn of his love of Swindon's own XTC, skim a few chapters of his terrifying tome in the making, The Big Book of Evil, and hear samples from the cassette albums he created in his college music studio, The Scream Room.


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