The J.J. Abrams Show I’m Not Sure I Want to See
Person of Interest (CBS, drama, Sept. 22)
J.J. Abrams has created a new show for Michael Emerson from Lost. He has an algorithm that predicts when people are about to do something illegal and then he sends the guy who played Jesus to go get them. Get ready for the best show ever. Uh, wait a minute. It’s a CBS crime procedural. We can only hope it isn’t Abrams’ next Undercovers.
Sitcoms I Hope Don’t Suck Because I Like One or More of the Actors
Up All Night (NBC, comedy, Sept. 14)
Christina Applegate and Will Arnett are too funny to rack up another failed show. And Maya Rudolph is in this one too. Please don’t suck. Oh, the premise is something about a married couple juggling jobs and a baby. But who cares? Please. Don’t. Suck.
New Girl (Fox, comedy, Sept. 20)
Zooey Deschanel is too charming to rack up a failed show. Unfortunately, this one looks a lot like the dozen other Friends clones we’ve seen in recent years. Let’s hope it’s not.
2 Broke Girls (CBS, comedy, Sept. 19)
Two women working at a diner trying to make it. It’s Alice and Flo! Well, kiss my grits! Oh, it’s not a remake of the classic ‘70s sitcom? The plot has something to do with cupcakes with a side helping of sass? Where’s Mel when you need him? At least Kat Dennings looks like she’s having fun.
Whitney (NBC, comedy, Sept. 22)
Any series that claims to be a “hilarious look at modern love” probably isn’t. Still, Whitney Cummings seems like a funny lady and someone decided to name a show after her, so we’ll go with that.
They Objectified Women in the ‘60s, Didn’t They?
Pan Am (ABC, drama, Sept. 25)
“They do it all, and they do it at 30,000 feet.” Yeah, it’s about stewardesses in the ‘60s. Fun fact: people used to think all stewardesses did was fly around the world having sex. Mad Men it ain’t.
The Playboy Club (NBC, drama, Sept. 19)
This one’s about playboy bunnies. Y’all realize you don’t get any nudity on network TV, right?