Let’s Be Cops
Jake Johnson, Damon Wayans, Jr., Rob Riggle, Nina Dobrev, James D’Arcy, Andy García
Let’s Be Cops
While this looks to be a crazy comedy about two friends who take their decision to go to a costume party as policemen a little too seriously (scratch that—way too seriously), there are two words that make this wannabe farce specious at best: Luke Greenfield. The director of such dipstick dregs as The Animal (“Rob Schneider… derpy, derp, derp derp”), The Girl Next Door, and Something Borrowed, is also a co-writer here, so that’s equally problematic. Of course, the trailer and the Twitter-verse would have you believing this is a late in the season treat. The premise does hold promise. The creative team? To be seen.
The Expendables 3
Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Antonio Banderas, Jet Li, Wesley Snipes, Dolph Lundgren, Kelsey Grammer, Randy Couture, Terry Crews, Mel Gibson, Harrison Ford, Arnold Schwarzenegger
The Expendables 3
By now you’ve probably heard that a DVD quality version of this film is already making the illegal download torrent rounds. What you may not have noticed is the overall shoulder shrug produced by that news. Apparently, studio suits are confident that audiences will either turn out in droves to see this continuing series of former action stars go through the mainstream PG-13 motions, or that any international box office receipts will offset the damage done by such a leak. In either case, get ready for more explosions, firefights, and frightening reminders of the kind of meatheads we admired in the ‘80s and ‘90s.
Jeff Bridges, Meryl Streep, Brenton Thwaites, Alexander Skarsgård, Odeya Rush, Katie Holmes, Taylor Swift, Cameron Monaghan
Young adult novel potential franchise alert! Lois Lowery’s 1993 novel may have won a prestigious award (the Newberry Medal) and may be part of most middle school reading lists, but that doesn’t mean this utopian turned dystopia is viable motion picture material. Heck, we can list a dozen derivatives of the same concept that came and went with little more than a studio execs job riding on the final performance. Still, this adaptation by Phillip Noyce has been a long-time labor of love for star Jeff Bridges, and it does feature Meryl Streep, Katie Holmes, and that grand dame of the thespians, Taylor Swift (no, seriously). So who knows?
Domhnall Gleeson, Maggie Gyllenhaal, Scoot McNairy,Michael Fassbender
It’s loosely based on the comic persona of the late Chris Sievey, an English musician and performance artist. In fact, he gave this film his blessing before succumbing to cancer in 2010. The movie tells the story of a young man (Domhnall Gleeson) who wants to join the eclectic band Soronprfbs, lead by the equally odd title character. Played by Michael Fassbender, Frank never takes off his oversized cartoon head… ever. In fact, our Oscar nominated actor is never seen in this role, and still, critics are raving over his performance. It all sounds very high concept and ...heady. Doesn’t it?
The Trip to Italy
Steve Coogan, Rob Brydon
The Trip to Italy
Steve Coogan and Rob Brydon are back, impressive celebrity impressions intact. So is director Michael Winterbottom, and so is the entire English TV series (six episodes) edited down to a single international film release. As the title indicates, our “friends” have taken to the Mediterranean for their latest feeding frenzy and the laconic backdrop is no match for these comedians’ acerbic wit. In fact, it’s safe to say that you could put Coogan and Brydon in a low rent East End dive and they could find a way to brighten it with their humorous repartee. Hopefully, another “trip” is being prepped at this very moment.
Jesse Thomas Cook
Jason David Brown, Molly Dunsworth, Robert Maillet
For many, Pontypool represents a true post-modern take on the whole overdone zombie dynamic. For them, the good news is that author/screenwriter Tony Burgess is back with another deconstruction of the monster movie ideal, Septic Man. Now, to this purveyor of all things oddball and fringe, the story of a man transformed into a walking crap creature sounds an awful lot like the 2003 indie treat, Monsturd. Others are comparing it to a social commentary-less The Toxic Avenger. (Really?) Consider it a determined diversion from all the big budget bombast being thrown at us this Summer, and you’ll be fine.
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