When TV Attacks
Television and movies designed for children are
notoriously commercial. But what if the primary goal
of Saturday morning cartoons was not to sell kids the
latest Teletubbies lunchbox or Powerpuff Girls action
figure? Just how ooky would it be if these shows were
actually engineered by a secret U.S. government agency
to keep control of international espionage activities
by nefarious means? What if Tinky Winky wasn't a plot
to turn kids gay, but the new identity assigned to a
secret agent who has been turned voiceless and
ungainly by a dastardly mind-zapping device?
This is sort of the premise behind Robert Rodriguez's
Spy Kids, in which two perfectly well-adjusted
children, Carmen (Alexa Vega) and Juni (Daryl Sabara),
make the rather astounding discovery that their
dull-seeming parents, Gregorio (Antonio Banderas) and
Ingrid Cortez (Carla Cugino), are in fact semi-retired
world-famous super-spies on the order of James Bond,
complete with wildly imaginative gadgets and
demonically obsessive adversaries. This discovery is,
of course, very cool, at least until the siblings also
learn that their parents have been taken hostage by
the bad guys and that it's up to them -- Carmen and
Juni -- to save the day.
This day-saving involves some minor scuffles with a
well-meaning "uncle" (Cheech Marin) and some more
hardcore battles with the perversely adorable, vaguely
Pee-wee-esque host of Juni's favorite tv show, Fegan
Floop (Alan Cumming). This guy plans world domination
via the usual evil-spy machinations, in this case, an
army of robot kids modeled after those in the world's
most powerful and influential families (it's a bit
like the old Star Trek's Harry Mudd's plan to
conquer the universe with an army of sexy barbie and
ken doll robots, only it seems smaller and slightly
less campy, no mean feat, given Cumming's presence).
Floop lives and shoots his show in a big old
Gaudi-curvy playhouse on a dark and mysterious island.
Here he's plainly king of his world and insulated from
his kid-audience. That is, like many celebrities, he's
lost touch with the very people he once meant to
entertain and represent.
Along these same thematic lines, Floop is also more
than a little concerned with his ratings, a character
flaw that at first makes him seem stereotypically
petty, but ultimately makes him a less effective and
so, more redeemable villain. Desperate to improve his
numbers, he turns to Juni -- who at that point is
supposed to be a prisoner -- and so, learns some
valuable moral lessons. This is notable because the
typical movie version of tv-ratings-hogs is to set
them up as scum-of-the-earth types, doomed to suffer
terrible fates for their greed and selfishness. Floop,
however, is so spineless that Juni can redirect his
energies with only a few sensible suggestions for show
format and attitude adjustment. Carmen and Juni know
what they want and articulate it in ways that the
twisted-around tv guy just can't quite manage. Two
points for the kids.
In this and other respects -- and unlike many
so-called children's films (say, See Spot Run) --
Spy Kids is respectful of its young subjects and
presumed audience. Carmen and Juni are
independent-minded and compassionate individuals, and
their interactions with one another alternate between
slam-banging escapades with jet-packs and explosive
bubblegum resemble those charming adventures kids have
on Sesame Street. Perhaps understandably, the movie
is less kind to adults: Floop's cleverly named
sidekick Minion (Tony Shaloub), the hyperbolically
inept Mrs. Gradenko (Teri Hatcher, who looks more like
she's reprising her work for Radio Shack than for her
Bond movie), and the overconfident head-spy-guy Mr.
Lisp (Robert Patrick) are underwritten, overacted, and
predictable -- Austin Powers has been here already.
Luckily, the film mostly moves fast and highlights its
many commercial-product-ready gizmos and fabuloso
digital effects, rather than its mostly conventional
characters and carefully spelled-out "lessons" -- be
nice to your siblings, believe in your parents' good
intentions, work on your communication skills, and
watch out for bad spies.
Spy Kids is all fun, sometimes obnoxious, and
incessantly cheerful -- having your parents kidnapped
is a minor inconvenience, leading to the chance to
ride in a submarine that looks like a blowfish. How neat
is that!? Children in the audience will likely be as
entertained as they are by the more ambitious tv
animations, like, for instance, Powerpuff Girls or
Sponge Bob Squarepants, which put the majority of
kids' movies to shame anyway.
You might also wonder what's at stake in concocting
such a diversion for the big screen. Certainly, it's
good to have a kids' movie that isn't
Disney-yet-again. But where is this film aiming its
critique? At tv, when some of it is so obviously
inspiring? At genre movies, such easy targets? or
perhaps at the entertainment-military-industrial
complex, so deserving of ridicule and revulsion? Or is
it aiming somewhere else altogether, raising new
possibilities, asking new questions of what kids'
entertainment can do? If its premise is correct,
adults by definition lack (or have lost) the insight
and optimism that allow kids to think outside and
beyond what's expected of them. And so, the fact that
Spy Kids, made by adults after all, reinforces the
usual values may be all it can do.