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Pimp of the Nation

Black hat,
Fine blond,
Cold Pabst in my lap.
I'll adapt
To any and all situations.
That's why they call me the pimp of the nation.
— Kid Rock, "You Never Met a Motherf*cker Quite Like Me"

Even if you haven't been wondering why they call Kid Rock the "pimp of the nation," well, now you know. And from here -- or perhaps anywhere that isn't Kid Rock's lap -- it looks like it might almost be work. Imagine being best known for writing, "Bawitdaba da bang a dang diggy diggy diggy said the boogy said up jump the boogy." That, and being Pamela Anderson's latest rock-star squeeze.

Still, 31-year-old Bob Ritchie appears pleased enough to be riding this particular image, what with the success of Cocky, his third platinum album in a row, following 1998's eight-million-units-selling Devil Without a Cause (which was, in fact, his fourth album) and 2000's The History of Rock. On 1 February, the pimp of the nation visited Last Call, where he was introduced by host Carson Daly as a "rich, cocky, breast-loving, trailer trash rock star who makes Elvis look gay." Though his face was somewhat obscured by his trademark black trilby hat and sunglasses, you could almost make out that Kid Rock looked bashful at such extravagant praise.

Undeterred, Carson teased his buddy Bob, recalling their nights out drinking and asking him how he might best "feel at home" on the set. Bob hemmed and hawed. And lo, the camera pulled out to reveal that behind them were arrayed "the ladies of Scores" -- strippers from one of Howard Stern's favorite places to plug -- wearing red, white, and blue bikinis, serving up steins full of a refreshing beverage, and dancing on boxes that exploded in cheesy fireworksy sparks at the slap of a button that the boys kept near their chairs on stage. Yee-hee! Carson smiles: this is what it means to feel at home if you're Kid Rock.

So okay, it takes imagination as well as effort to be the pimp of the nation. He takes his allegiance to country seriously. As he told Carson, his music has always "always been about patriotism." It's just by chance that his longstanding interest and imagery have now turned trendy, that since 9-11, everyone has started waving flags and pumping nationalistic fervor. Kid Rock, he's always already been there. So what if he's not really "trailer trash," hailing from Romeo, Michigan, a middle-class Detroit suburb where his father had a car dealership? He thought he was poor, because, as he tells this month's Maxim Blender, his mom used to sew their socks and cut coupons. Maybe this background -- however he remembers it -- explains why he loves the U.S. of A. so damn much. A self-styled good ol' boy, Kid Rock is plenty proud of his many achievements and makes no bones about the rewards he reaps; as he confessed to Carson, "I enjoy a lot of the fruits of this labor, trust me."

Certainly, it appears that Kid Rock has a good sense of how he works. When he showed up on Howard Stern's show to promote the album, he endured the endless questions about his sexual activities with Pam, his knit cap and sunglasses snug on his head as if in self-defense (no, he's not jealous of "Tommy's schlong" or "into anal"; yes, he's "in love with Pam"). He even seems to know his limits: when he lit a cigarette and was immediately accused of not taking care of his voice, Kid Rock smiled: "I'm not a singer. I yell."

He also knows and likes to extol his influences. As for instance, on "Forever," the first single off Cocky, where he explains his formula for success:

I make punk rock.
And I mix it with the hip-hop,
Get ya higher than a treetop.
You wanna roll with the Kid Rock.
I make southern rock
And I mix it with the hip-hop.
Got money like Fort Knox.

The video for this single, released just after 9-11, is full of Kid Rock's standard red-white-and-blue imagery, U.S. flagness splashed all over trucks, the star's big glittery overcoat, stage décor, a giant tractor, cheerleader outfits, and bikinis worn by babes on bikes. Pam's cameo, reclining on a motorcycle, was apparently so much fun that she has recently declared that she wants to retire from V.I.P. and go on the road as a stripper with her honey's tour. Theirs is a sincere love, truly.

According to Kid Rock, "Forever" was conceived as a patriotic festival, celebrating that rebel-America mythology that so invigorates so many types of rock, from metal to punk to Southern. Cashing in on this mythology, Kid Rock pronounces himself the ultimate "American Bad Ass" (the song chosen by sailors to blast from the U.S.S. Cole as it left the port of Aden, Yemen, after being attacked in October 2000), adaptable and then some. Not only does he pay proper tribute to his immediate precursors and inspirations (using his own Video Music Awards moment in 1999 to reunite Run-DMC and Aerosmith), but he's been taped to honor Aretha Franklin on VH1's 2001 Divas Live, hang with Hank Williams Jr. for CMT's Crossroads, and guest on Willie Nelson's album, The Great Divide.

When asked how he came to be "everyone's buddy," Kid Rock says it's because he's "open-minded," able to appreciate all kinds of music, and frankly, not worried about fitting into one category or another. He tells MTV's Iann Robinson, "I care less if I can't be part of your scene because I am the scene. I am everything that is." And yes, he knows it sounds, gee, cocky, but that's part of the deal. Still, and despite the fact that he actually can play the guitar and loves Whodini, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and Bob Seger equally, Kid Rock is less known for his musical virtuosity than his broadly performative persona: "Watch me twirl like Earl the Pearl / Or just keep on Kid Rocking in the free world."

The video for "Forever" begins with a shot of Kid Rock speaking into a microphone, in what appears to be a radio interview, describing his vision for the shoot: "I'm thinking of it as a tailgate party." Is this a man of the people or what? A split screen shows fans on their way to this concert-cum-live shoot, hauling ass in their vehicles, pumping fists and roaring in anticipation. At the show, they reel into head-banging ecstasy when Kid Rock appears on stage to announce, "The black cat is back, in original form / The legible, credible, inevitable storm / Way past the norm, still misbehaving / Finger in the air and the flag still waiving / Young one don't test the boss, cause I got this sewn like Betsy Ross." Hip-hop with a history lesson. Power to the people, baby.

Ironically, and even if he has been doing it since long before this particular bandwagon rolled through Viacom's vast mediascape, "Forever" looks pretty much like the jingoistic zeal parlayed by everyone else, from street vendors to the New York Stock Exchange to U.S. automakers to magazines like Vogue (with covergirl Britney) and Vibe (with coverboy Lenny Kravitz). "Keep America rolling," the edict goes, by consuming something, anything, that's red, white, and blue. Kid Rock's version, notwithstanding that he's been running it for years, now looks like just that, another version.

But Kid Rock is nothing if not relentless. Here he comes again, with a ballad refurbished for patriotic fervor, courtesy of the MTV USO tour he went on with J. Lo and Ja Rule back in December 2001. MTV made it into For the Troops: MTV-USO Special and now Kid Rock has made it into a video for "Lonely Road of Faith," a sad-sounding tune that might once have been about a breakup, but is now all about the National Tragedy: "I believe we can make it through the winds of change / Change / Wooooo hoooooo / Wooooo hoooooo."

This video features Kid Rock at Germany's Ramstein Air Force Base, sitting in a chopper, complete with headgear; performing in matted sweaty hair for the troops; signing a "Humanitarian Daily Ration" package ("Chow Down! Kid Rock. P.S. Tell Osama to suck it!"); rolling in an armored vehicle; laughing with Lopez; even petting someone's dog. In between these shots showing Kid Rock as he gets down with the devoted masses, you see appreciative said masses (here, troops in uniform, moving as a unit, with one young woman keeping time with her concert-issued glo-stick) and a couple of planes landing and taking off, you know, all part of the war effort.

It appears that at least part of the effort in "Lonely Road of Faith" is to showcase Kid Rock's own devotion to the cause, his ballady affection for the idea of "America" as a place where partying is a declaration of independence. Only in this video, he's not merely enjoying the fruits of his labors, surrounded by busty girls and whiskey bottles. Here, he's being earnest. Here, he's got something important to sell, a vision of his nation united in straight-up appreciation of all (his) freedoms. Here, indeed, he is mainstream. Just like all those other lusty boys (Howard Stern, Hugh Hefner, Larry Flynt) who pose like they're transgressive and defiant, but really just reinforce the most familiar, and sometimes the most backward, of so-called "traditional" values.