Michael David Sims

Reviews

New Super Mario Bros.

Playing New Super Mario Bros. is a lot like shagging an ex: it's satisfying in the moment, but afterwards you realize your effort could have been spent better elsewhere. [26 June 2006]

Kirby Canvas Curse

What Curse does is something that's rarely accomplished in gaming; it connects you emotionally with the action. [25 July 2005]

Play with Me

You watch and you cringe, not because the images are horrific per se, but because you know deep down that the truth behind it remains so very real. [20 June 2005]

Polarium

Polarium is one of those games that's going to be overlooked by the masses because we've moved past the simple games of yore. [16 May 2005]

MLB

I came to realize why I've never actually bothered to chose between the north and south sides; baseball is boring. [27 April 2005]

Zoo Keeper

If you've played Bejeweled, you've all but played Zoo Keeper. [20 April 2005]

The Punisher

Because Castle is who he is, players are allowed to use dozens of environmental hazards to interrogate would-be killers. [30 March 2005]

Final Fantasy Tactics Advance

The characters are the most unintentionally shallow and unlikable bunch I have ever seen assembled. [2 March 2005]

Resident Evil 4

It's only when developers turn a genre on its head that we're treated with titles like Resident Evil 4. [19 January 2005]

DOOM 3

Much like any good horror film, DOOM 3 uses its environment to its advantage, but sadly relies too heavily on cheap scares. [17 November 2004]

Donkey Konga

Despite the success of several rhythm games, none have yet to rival DDR in the home market. But that's where Donkey Konga comes in. [5 November 2004]

Burnout 3: Takedown

The more cars you wreck, the higher your points and more cars you unlock. That's it. Death and destruction is rewarded, and it's a bloody good time! [22 September 2004]

DVision: Contraband

While DVision isn't exactly a news source, it's surely enlightening and brings many political issues to the table. [8 September 2004]

N

As technology advances, so does the graphical capability of video game consoles. One look at Ninja Gaiden and Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time demonstrates this to even the most stringent detractor. However, realistic graphics doesn't necessitate quality gameplay, and one must also remember the converse. [11 August 2004]

Mega Man Anniversary Collection

When longtime gamers stop caring about the classics they grew up on, it becomes quite clear that most studios no longer care about how much fun you or I have (or even if their ideas are original), but rather about the green we're willing to shell out. [15 July 2004]

Lightning Break

No video game has ever, or will ever, accurately reproduce the pool hall atmosphere. Not even the best of them. And Lightning Break is no different. [30 June 2004]

Red Dead Revolver

Maybe 155 years after the San Francisco gold rush, cowboys and Westerns just aren't relevant anymore. [19 May 2004]

Ninja Gaiden

No longer are your virtual enemies content to die one by one, lining up for death like lemmings overlooking a cliff. [7 April 2004]

Pitfall: The Lost Expedition

It seems as though Harry winks and nods at the camera during every cutscene, as if he knows he's in a game and not on some dangerous expedition. Moments like that really pull you out of what should be an immersive experience. [10 March 2004]

Manhunt

Unlike its predecessors, Manhunt has little to do with story, but instead is driven by your need to kill. [11 February 2004]

Extreme Warfare Revenge

What one has to remember is that wrestling is and always has been entertainment, but what the owners, bookers, and stars never took into account was the way in which many fans would eventually wrap their lives around the very business. [27 January 2004]

Wario Ware, Inc.: Mega Microgame$

By giving us what we want (fast paced, addictive gaming), they're disconnecting us from the rest of the world and forcing us to slow down so we can remember what time is. [19 November 2003]

The Founding Fish by John McPhee

So, how did a worrisome lot of silver-white fish save a nation?" [22 January 2003]

New Super Mario Bros.

Playing New Super Mario Bros. is a lot like shagging an ex: it's satisfying in the moment, but afterwards you realize your effort could have been spent better elsewhere. [1 January 1995]