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Music > Features > Rest in Pieces: Eulogies of the Past, Present, and Future > Paul McCartney | The Beatles 
Rest in Pieces: Eulogies of the Past, Present, and FutureA Love Letter from Lisa: To Paul McCartney, My Confession[21 September 2009] As I recall historical events, I can’t imagine a timeline existing without your presence, without your warm smile and those careful words that I’ve heard in interviews and television shows and movies.
By Lisa ToremPaul, your picture from the early days is so innocent, handsome, and carefree. You’re wearing an earth-toned, collarless suit from the Epstein days. Your arched eyebrows and auburn eyes twinkle, and I can’t imagine how I can survive in this world without you. Who knows? This may be the last letter you read as you await the end. And to be honest, I don’t know who hurts more, me or you? You’ve “taken me from crayons to perfume” as the British singer Lulu sang in the ‘60s song “To Sir With Love”. As little girls, my cousin and I played at being Beatles, too. We polished our nails and donned fuzzy slippers. We took turns playing “Paul” or “Paul’s girlfriend”. We talked into the early morning hours, giggling at our self-taught brilliant British accents. Desperate to get close to you, to understand your culture and that industrial town called Liverpool, we collected magazines and cards and posters, taping them to our walls so that we’d see your face before drifting off to sleep. Back then, my friend’s older sister actually got to attend a Beatles concert. You can’t imagine how hurt and jealous I was that I couldn’t go. After the show, Karola came home so elated, clutching what seemed to be an empty mason jar. The next morning, however, I heard her scream as her father opened the jar in order to store some tools. Karola screamed hysterically, Paul, Paul, Paul! Seems she had carefully and lovingly saved the air from the show, air you undoubtedly breathed inside the concert hall. Her poor, helpless father was aghast, not knowing what he had done, releasing you. Of course Karola immediately tackled him and saved a few, short breaths. I would have done the same, you know? Time moved us forward. * * * Another moment when you seemed to touch my life happened when a boy came to school with a picture of you. His mother was an artist, and our teacher said he could give the portrait to any girl in school today. My arm ached; I remember screaming, Paul, Paul, Paul! as I waved again and again, praying to get Ronald’s attention. Suddenly, like a burst helium balloon, the picture fell on my desk, and I kept it in a special drawer for years afterwards. Later in life, at one of your Chicago concerts, the footage of “Good Day Sunshine” and “English Tea” for NASA astronaut Bill McArthur and Russian Cosmonaut Valery Tokarev was shown. McArthur and Tokarev were orbiting some 220 miles above earth in their space shuttle Discovery. I was (and still am) so fascinated by what you’ve accomplished, Paul. And during that same concert, after a few fans heckled you and you stopped playing, remember? You didn’t get angry; you simply turned toward the crowd and asked, “Do you know what I’ve accomplished?” Aside from the few hecklers, the rest of the crowd supported you in that moment, myself included. I felt like I really understood you—that intimate compassion you feel when some blowhard hurts someone you’ve always loved, and suddenly, you don’t know who hurts more. What do these accomplishments mean as you lay here? I wonder if they bring you peace? I also understood then what it was to grow older with someone, beside someone. As I looked around the room at the people of all different ages, I realized that the very young ones had no idea who you really were, let alone what you’ve accomplished in your lifetime. Of course, they can hear your songs in the same way—after all, we hear Nat King Cole and Natalie Cole harmonizing long after her father’s death—we can hear the music, but how many can say they’ve known a man’s life the way I think I know yours. That same night at the United Center, the lights lowered, and you walked on the stage with your beautiful acoustic guitar strapped around your neck. Your innocent, solitary, and purposeful image reminded me of the album cover of Ram, where your firstborn James was swaddled inside your warm jacket. You strummed the first few chords of “Yesterday”, and the sheer loveliness of the sound was as delicate as Renoir’s brush strokes on a lily pad. I was enraptured, Paul, at the delicacy of that moment, hearing you sing a song that has been covered by artist after artist, but the music was pouring from your heart nonetheless. And if I had died with you, Paul, after sharing this moment, it would have been absolutely fine. Sharing your art, be it writing, singing, or guitar playing, is always so frightening; but releasing that part of yourself never dampened your spirit—a fear some of us, like myself, harbor—and I’ve tried to carry that same spirit with me as a teacher, writer, and mother. * * * I read that you watched in horror on September 11th as the twin towers in New York City burst into flames. You were traveling on an airplane yourself as you witnessed this tragedy, but grief stricken as you were, you resolved to help the survivors. You buried your grief long enough to play benefit concerts for these families. Giving back—how easy to get caught up in the trivialities of life—but giving back is important, Paul, and I think you can honestly look back and feel you’ve done that. It’s hard to imagine you grieving, Paul. As I grew up, you were the cheerful one, the one who rallied the troops. But watching you grieve, first over Brian Epstein who gave you your start, then Linda, your wife of 30 years, then the deaths of John and George, made me admire your strength even more than before. Maybe you don’t feel that strength now, Paul, but the weakened figure you are now on these last days, are not who you have been your whole life. These last few moments don’t measure your entire life, which leaves it to us to realize your achievements for you. Once, I played “She’s Leaving Home” for my father. Of course, like most fathers then, he hated rock music. “How can you play that,” he would ask me. But after hearing the beautiful string section and cautionary lyrics of that song, he smiled. Through your voice and your words, he understood how your music could revolutionize the world, bringing together a multitude of cultures and generations. “Fun is the one thing that money can’t buy,” your sultry voice sings before trailing off. Watching Hard Days Night and Help and learning the tablature parts for “Norwegian Wood” is what bound my days together, you should know. You’ve saved seals and raised consciousness about land mines; you’ve performed concerts for the people of Kampuchea; and in 2008, you played the “Friendship First” concert in Tel Aviv. Will people remember the man behind the donations, Paul? Know that I will always remember that conviction and the lesson that even one person can change the world. You really did, Paul, and you still are changing us, and I know, you still will continue to do so, even when you’re gone. 
 Rest in Pieces: Eulogies of the Past, Present, and Future - Part 5
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Comments
Lovely sentiments (despite what I imagine to be a couple of typos born of sincere passion). Well done, Lisa.
Comment by Christel Loar — September 21, 2009 @ 1:10 am
Lisa,
So lovely! I felt every word and every emotion. I could have written this myself. It’s beautiful and Paul has given so many happy moments to my life. So have you with this wonderful article. Thanks!
Comment by Jane from Tennessee — September 21, 2009 @ 7:29 am
Thank you Christel and Jane,
It’s wonderful to share the love with those that truly understand.
Cheers,
Lisa
Comment by Lisa Torem — September 21, 2009 @ 9:29 am
Nice story about Beatle air in a jar, but need a quick fact check on some of the other bits.
“Your innocent, solitary, and purposeful image reminded me of the album cover of Ram, where your firstborn James was swaddled inside your warm jacket.”
Ram album cover is Paul shearing a sheep, not holding a baby—that’s McCartney, his first post-beatles album (solo.)
First born baby is Mary, not James (who was born in 1975, after Stella.)
Comment by afan from toronto — September 21, 2009 @ 10:18 am
That was Mary McCartney in the album picture; James is Paul’s youngest, born 1977.
Comment by NYJ from NYC — September 21, 2009 @ 10:25 am
I have adored Paul Mccartney since he burst on the Scene. My license plate holder has “Paul Mccartney is a god” and indeed he is… You have put into eloquent words emotions that I have felt all of my life. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for your truly poetic words.
Comment by sharon from broomall,pa — September 21, 2009 @ 10:56 am
Well written and very moving Lisa, I think that many other people feel the same way as you do, myself included.
Comment by Debbie from Klamath Falls, Oregon USA — September 21, 2009 @ 12:40 pm
Lovely comment. I feel the same about him. The overwhelming sense of kindness he projects helps me believe in the goodness of humanity.
After seeing him concert last month, I will say unequivocally that Paul is not quite yet in his declining days! He has amazing energy and the same charm he’s always had. I’ve also heard he has plans for a new album. :)
Comment by Emily from DC — September 21, 2009 @ 1:03 pm
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Lisa,
I thought I was the only one!
Comment by Molly from Ca — September 21, 2009 @ 6:21 pm
Yeah, if Paul was able to see the twin towers from thr tarmac of JFK airport, he’s got super vision. It’s impossible to see that far. Maybe he saw smoke. Also, when did you ever see Paul grieve over Brian Epstein? I’ve watched hundreds of news clips, etc, and never have seen this footage. One last thing: you said Epstein died, then Linda then John and George. Ugh, Lennon died 18 years before Linda.
Comment by Michael from NYC — September 22, 2009 @ 4:03 am
What seals did Paul save? He might have gotten on the Ice and played with a few, but he didn’t save a single one. As a matter of fact, he enraged Canadian hunters so much that they probably killed a few more in Paul’s honor. He should stick to music, get out of the celebrity politican world, and stop talking about fake global warming, or climate change via burping and farting cows, which he knows little about from inside his Beatle bubble. He looks foolish sometimes. I can’t believe he has been invited to speak in front of Parliament on the subject of climate change. I’d like to see his carbon footprint.
Comment by Michael from NYC — September 22, 2009 @ 4:14 am
Michael, it’s probably best you quit posting, lest you further reveal your ignorance.
Comment by Brett — September 22, 2009 @ 10:40 am
Brett, can you elaborate? You’re obviously a genius, so please debate me. What did I give misinformation about? Did Paul save seals? If so, where and when? Is he an expert on climate change? If so, where is the proof? Is James his first child on the cover of RAM? C’mon, back yourself up Einstein. I’m a huge Paul McCartney fan, but I’m not crazy enough to believe he is all that.
Comment by Michael from NYC — September 22, 2009 @ 11:23 am
Well, the fact that you’re a global warming denier, for one. I could elaborate further, but I don’t think I need to.
Comment by Brett — September 23, 2009 @ 1:41 am
Brett, I certainly don’t believe farting and burping animals are causing climate change (they don’t even use the term ‘global warming’ anymore) which is McCartney’s angle. And is this all you can come up with? You’re weak. You don’t even have the brains to debate anyone.
Comment by Michael from NYC — September 23, 2009 @ 6:48 am
Actually that came from a study conducted by the United Nations Food and Agriculture Food and Agriculture Organization, which showed that the biggest producer of harmful carbons in the world was not the petrochemical industry or even cars, but cattle breeding. It’s not like Paul just made that up out of thin air. Now feel free to continue insulting my brains.
Comment by Brett — September 23, 2009 @ 11:46 pm
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Brett, if you actually believe that nonsense, coming from a govt organization who are also using that as a way to tax farmers, then you are a bigger idiot than I thought. I’m sure you found that little tidbit of info after a google search, lol. That’s not coming from your knowledge. That’s exactly what what I would have expected, though. Farmers have been breeding cattle for thousands of years. And just now it’s causing global warming? ROTFLMFAO. And if the govt so concerned, why do they allow more and more of it? Why are they tearing up the Amazon rain forest, ruining the eco system, to farm more cattle? Because they can tax farmers and eventually meat eaters and make lots of money. They encourage someone like Paul McCartney because of his popularity and people like you will believe it. McCartney asking us to give up one day of meat is insane, he’s barking up the wrong tree. He needs to go after the govt, not the average people. But instead he panders to them, and now they asking to address Parliament on the subject, LOL. We’re actually in a period of cooling right now. They don’t even use the term Global Warming because it’s not untrue, so now they call it Climate Change because that’s more vague and can’t more scenarios. Climate changes, naturally. It always has. Climate Change is big business right now, people making bank on it. Al Gore benefits directly from it, although his carbon footprint is 20x bigger than average joe and I suspect McCartney’s is also, if not larger, as he tours flying town to town on a private jet, uses 20 massive trucks to haul his equipment around, etc. etc. And as matter of fact, Al Gore is part owner of Carbon Neutral Company (CNC) who will eventually be collectors of carbon taxes, with Gore making huge profits by 2018. Gore wants a carbon tax, or consumption tax because they will also benefit from cap and trade and we will pay through the nose for our electricity. But you won’t hear that in his documentary. And with Paul McCartney backing up this type of nonsense, we will believe it coming from a cherub face Beatle and feel so guilty by them brow beating this into our heads that we won’t even question it. Of course Paul McCartney, who writes great songs, is an expert on climate change, LMFAO. This will be like cancer: organizations have been collecting hundreds of millions of dollars under the premise of finding a cure, yet the govt allows hormones and all other kind of crap in our foods so that there is now 50% cancer rate in males. And that’s much larger than it was when I was a kid in the 60’s and 70’s when these organizations first started raking in the bucks. If they find a cure for cancer, a lot of big corps are out of business. Same with climate change. So, you keep on keeping on. Paul McCartney is a great musician, songwriter and artist but he’s no expert on climate change. And c’mon, I still wanna know what seals he’s saved. If you noticed, he has even attempted going after Canadian seal farmers after that fiasco, which was most likely Heather Mills’ publicity stunt.
Comment by Michael from NYC — September 24, 2009 @ 11:15 am
Michael and Brett—
Disagree all you wish and, by all means, debate, but please don’t call each other idiots. Please stick to debate without name calling. Thanks.
Comment by SysAdmin — September 24, 2009 @ 12:00 pm
Ok fair,no name calling. And because I’m typing on my phone, a couple of typos: Global Warming is untrue so the call it Climate Change now because it’s more vague and fits more scenarios.
Comment by Michael from NYC — September 24, 2009 @ 1:27 pm
I Am The Walrus is a John Lennon great song not Paul’s! And John sings the beautiful backing vocals on Paul’s She’s Leaving Home.
Comment by PAUl&JOHNWEREBRILLIANT; — October 10, 2009 @ 2:05 am
Thanks Lisa, never had a crush on Paul, but great post, very thoughtful. M is right that he has a huge carbon footprint, but we put a clown in space so who really cares anyway? Sir’s raising awareness, and that’s what counts in the long run.
Comment by Aquanautix — October 11, 2009 @ 9:46 pm