Throughout the centuries philosophers and religious thinkers have encouraged women to feel grateful for their subordination. It’s only against the red light of ‘Dirrtiness’ that the chastity movement could ever have struck us as fresh.
“I just wanna say, it’s not bad to wear a promise ring because not every guy and a girl wants to be a slut, OK?” (Jordin Sparks at this autumn’s MTV awards). Stirring sentiments there from the American Idol winner. But wait! Before we rally ourselves accordingly, Sparks has issued the following amendment; “I wish I would’ve worded it differently. Someone who doesn’t wear a promise ring isn’t necessarily a slut”, (Entertainment Weekly).
Phew! Okay, we unenlightened many who roam the bleak wastes outside The Church of Teens and Trinkets, put down the cat o’ nine tails for a moment: We are not necessarily sluts.
With their air fisting enthusiasm and Mickey Mouse Club soundtrack The Silver Ring Thing, True Love Waits and other such US chastity movements have met with a luke warm reception across the pond. Pah! “Americans”, we scoff, with a Clarkson-esque roll of the eyes. For one thing, our reality pop stars know to speak when spoken to. We can scarcely imagine Simon Cowell and the good people at Syco Records tolerating this kind of backchat from Leona Lewis.
But like it or not, religious youth movements preaching abstinence are on the up in the UK too, albeit in our more characteristically sombre stylings. And in youth culture more broadly, terms like ‘slut’ and ‘ho’ have never been more in vogue. You can scarcely saunter through the Internet blog spots or gossip sites without the accusation being pelted from every quarter.
It’s all too easy to dismiss these devout younglings as hormonal half-wits as yet incapable of rational thought. But in these hedonistic times of fast love and fluid morality, what can this rising minority teach us about the world we live in? Clean cut and covered up, they face us: Today’s new rebels.
So what’s prompted this mutiny from the good ship decadence? What of our dreams of sexual freedom when young people are taking refuge in the promise ring or hijab? And why has the sexual revolution not relegated terms like ‘slut’ into the dark prudish past of sexual censorship?
In terms of sexual liberation, we are a people confused. The non-pious female majority of today will wear their Playboy bathrobe with pride. When our men, bound by lad’s mag obligatories, are out of action on a Thursday, we don’t complain. We’ll even have a sneaky peak when he’s out the room, (“fake, fake, real, fake”).
But Tina from finance snogs two men at the same Christmas party and her status as super-slut is unshakable. Even as men renew their yearly subscription to Razzle and women fall over themselves for the Carmen Electra Aerobic Striptease video; we hold on tenaciously to our right to brand one another as sluts.
Why are women of this “post-feminist” era, supposedly free to frolic the pastures of empowerment, not snuffing out such terms as the enemy in their midst? Because of course, the word ‘slut’ is never used without deploying a certain contention; that promiscuous, or seemingly promiscuous women are cheap and worthless. Without this belief, the word collapses, meaningless.
“But men can be sluts too!” I hear you cry. Are you sure? Occasionally, and with all the thrill of the truly novel, the claim might be leveled at a fella. But not without “man” in front, (male-whore, man-slut, etc) to signal this quirky departure from the norm. And so it’s not just the religious among us casting the eye of condemnation over female sexuality.
And yet clutching onto the motifs of pornography is now a mainstay of female celebrity success. Britney Spears, Paris Hilton and The Pussy Cat Dolls are prime exemplars. Christina Aguilera has succeeded in selling Dirrtiness as a “post-feminist” template for sexual empowerment. She has taken the torch from Madonna and pushed the goal posts akimbo. Long gone are the arty, iconoclastic nods pivotal to Madonna’s erotic licence.
The tendency to herald pop’s recent freak-athon as erotic empowerment is widespread. Out with Reclaim the Night demos and in with the clear heels! As the heroines of popular entertainment engage in ever-intensifying playoffs, thrusting their crotches at us in a frantic bid to prove themselves the ‘Dirrtiest’, they are being awarded subversive status, as defiant exhibitors of “raw…sexual expression”, (Lesley Robinson, Mediations).
Who needs feminism when you have ‘Dirtiness’? Amongst this pantomime of orgasmic moaning, pole dancing and faux lesbianism, we are being encouraged to a-spy the enigmatic form of gender equality. That’s right! Here comes liberation as you’ve never seen it before, “gift wrapped” in a red PVC cat suit. If this is how notions of sexual empowerment have been hijacked, is it any wonder young people are scrambling for the nearest chastity belt?
No question, in pop music today we are witnessing an aggressive sexuality which has oft been frowned upon as an unsightly deviation from “natural” femininity, that loathsome serpent threatening to undo civilized society. The figures that have a long while lurked omnipresent in the erotic consciousness, confined to the shadowy recesses of the horror/porn genres, now swarm out into the daylight of mainstream lucrative success. This ‘Dirrty’ phenomenon marks a further flushing out of these shadows. And as consumer culture usurps and suffocates other political manifestos, we are being besieged by old sexist myths, rising from the earth un-dead.
With all due respect, I fail to see how a woman’s refusal to share her body freely automatically and always qualifies as subordination. If our right to choose the path of childless sexuality (under some circumstances) is so valuable, why not our right to choose sexless relationships with the same degree of selectivity? It’s ironic to me that the right to say “no” to the pregnancies that were once taken as given and inevitable is so esteemed, while the right to say “no” to the sex that is now taken as given and inevitable is so pilloried.
Of course there will be excesses, sell-outs, distortions and subversions of principle … but that is true on both sides. The virtue of chastity that you seem to be overlooking is the integrity of person that it can nourish – not always, but significantly more often than the sexual freedom that so often functions as a reverse genital mutilation, cutting off everything but our “naughty bits” as valueless. A healthy practice of chastity fights for the integrity of my emotional, sexual, intellectual and physical life. It reminds me that my body has use and value for more than just sexual functions and interactions, that life offers more than just orgasmic pleasure, and that I have value and purpose for more than just my sexuality. That is true freedom, because it liberates my fulfillment and joy in life from the constraints of a sexual experience that has no guarantees of being all we want or need it to be.
In the view of a healthy chastity, one can live a rich and full life, whether or not that ever includes sexual experience. The other way of thinking offers no hope for those who die still in their virginity.
Comment by Anna Broadway from San Francisco, CA — March 10, 2009 @ 11:14 am
I’d just like to echo the sentiments of Anna Broadway by adding that life does indeed offer us much more than just orgasmic pleasure. But what she fails to recognize is that everything else pales into insignificance precisely at the time of orgasm.
Therefore, the issue at hand is not one of recognizing the versatility and multiplicity of the human body in it’s myriad of forms, but very simply one of making sure that orgasm is maintained 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Comment by Ben NCM from Leeds — March 10, 2009 @ 8:49 pm
In response to Anna; at no point in my article do I attack the principle of chastity per se. What I attack is how the chastity movement (which seeks to convert people)is, (a)consistent with a consumer product, (b) promotes oppresive and insulting gender roles, and (c) classifies women who don’t practice chastity as sluts and man-beggers.
This might well be a distortion or subversion of what chastity means to you Anna.
Although I would suggest that the use of terms like “reverse genital mutilation”, deploying as they do scaremongering, panic and hyperbole, constitutes one of the more malignant aspects to the chastity movement. I’m not actually sure what practice you’re referring to here, could you elaborate please?
You describe freedom as it presents itself to you and I congratulate you on finding it. But we come unstuck when we try to impose our version of freedom on others, suggesting they represent ‘true’freedom and that they have the monopoly (I attack the Dirrty movement for suggesting they have the monopoly on sexual freedom).
I’m not here to suggest this version of freedom is superior but, freedom might also be discovered by being sexually active in a way that fights for the integrity of the emotional, sexual, intellectual and physical life. It’s this version of freedom which is being denied both by the Dirrty phenomenon and the chastity movement.
Comment by Heather Kennedy from UK — March 11, 2009 @ 6:38 am
Comments
With all due respect, I fail to see how a woman’s refusal to share her body freely automatically and always qualifies as subordination. If our right to choose the path of childless sexuality (under some circumstances) is so valuable, why not our right to choose sexless relationships with the same degree of selectivity? It’s ironic to me that the right to say “no” to the pregnancies that were once taken as given and inevitable is so esteemed, while the right to say “no” to the sex that is now taken as given and inevitable is so pilloried.
Of course there will be excesses, sell-outs, distortions and subversions of principle … but that is true on both sides. The virtue of chastity that you seem to be overlooking is the integrity of person that it can nourish – not always, but significantly more often than the sexual freedom that so often functions as a reverse genital mutilation, cutting off everything but our “naughty bits” as valueless. A healthy practice of chastity fights for the integrity of my emotional, sexual, intellectual and physical life. It reminds me that my body has use and value for more than just sexual functions and interactions, that life offers more than just orgasmic pleasure, and that I have value and purpose for more than just my sexuality. That is true freedom, because it liberates my fulfillment and joy in life from the constraints of a sexual experience that has no guarantees of being all we want or need it to be.
In the view of a healthy chastity, one can live a rich and full life, whether or not that ever includes sexual experience. The other way of thinking offers no hope for those who die still in their virginity.
Comment by Anna Broadway from San Francisco, CA — March 10, 2009 @ 11:14 am
I’d just like to echo the sentiments of Anna Broadway by adding that life does indeed offer us much more than just orgasmic pleasure. But what she fails to recognize is that everything else pales into insignificance precisely at the time of orgasm.
Therefore, the issue at hand is not one of recognizing the versatility and multiplicity of the human body in it’s myriad of forms, but very simply one of making sure that orgasm is maintained 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Comment by Ben NCM from Leeds — March 10, 2009 @ 8:49 pm
In response to Anna; at no point in my article do I attack the principle of chastity per se. What I attack is how the chastity movement (which seeks to convert people)is, (a)consistent with a consumer product, (b) promotes oppresive and insulting gender roles, and (c) classifies women who don’t practice chastity as sluts and man-beggers.
This might well be a distortion or subversion of what chastity means to you Anna.
Although I would suggest that the use of terms like “reverse genital mutilation”, deploying as they do scaremongering, panic and hyperbole, constitutes one of the more malignant aspects to the chastity movement. I’m not actually sure what practice you’re referring to here, could you elaborate please?
You describe freedom as it presents itself to you and I congratulate you on finding it. But we come unstuck when we try to impose our version of freedom on others, suggesting they represent ‘true’freedom and that they have the monopoly (I attack the Dirrty movement for suggesting they have the monopoly on sexual freedom).
I’m not here to suggest this version of freedom is superior but, freedom might also be discovered by being sexually active in a way that fights for the integrity of the emotional, sexual, intellectual and physical life. It’s this version of freedom which is being denied both by the Dirrty phenomenon and the chastity movement.
Comment by Heather Kennedy from UK — March 11, 2009 @ 6:38 am