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Everyone above Sam, Carly, Bumblebee and his robot buddies are either dolts, driven female caricatures, or unsure of which side of the pro-humanity position they should take. From generals and majors who make stupid mistake after stupid mistake to dim desk jockeys that can’t seem to countermand a single ridiculous regulation, it’s as if a tea bagger sat down and envisioned this version of the FBI, CIA, NSA, NASA, FEMA, and the Department of Central Casting. All that’s missing is a moustache twirling President of unconfirmed birth origins to make the portrait complete.
As they do throughout the Transformers films, Sam Witwicky’s parents show up to add some inappropriate humor (?) to the already adolescent film dialogue. Before, it was all about responsibility, sex, and pot. But this time around, the newly retired (and living large in a supersized RV) couple come by to see their son, apparently so that mom can wax poetic about his penis. As Sam turns twenty shades of some embarrassed color, she continues to opine about his package. Nothing confirms your current status as a castrated male than being jobless while having your mother mention your personal undercarriage with casual aplomb.
No amount of orange spray tan, teeth whitening, or lube like hair gel can keep Bruce Brazos, powerful tycoon and closet color fetishist from sticking his nose into this whole End of the World business. After all, when your mail clerk (Sam) ends up on the wrong end of an employee ‘suicide’ (Ken Jeong, in a cameo), what better way to play a part in the ongoing struggle between good and bad robots. And what part does Brazos want to play? Why, Bumblebee’s sparring partner, that’s what. No specialized advisor. No knowledge international man of management. Just a punching bag for a anthropomorphized car.
During the final invasion, US military troops need to find a way into a heavily guarded downtown Chicago. While the conversation constantly infers that no plane can penetrate the defenses, we still see several of our more recognizable heroes taking up their Rocket J. Squirrel flying suits and heading for the nearest major Windy City landmark. After freefalling from deliver vehicle to the top of some recognizable tower, they take some defensive tactics and then decide to do some more intercity skydiving. Apparently, even with such short air to ground distances, you can fly like Superman among the many bombed out architectural wonders the Loop has to offer.
SPOILERS: So as Spock Prime decides to enslave Earth in order to rebuild Cybertron (which he intends to transport here because… well, moving an entire planet makes more sense than teleporting human workers and resources back home?!?!?), Megatron sits back, waiting to take his proper place… in the backseat??? Hoping to stop the oncoming carnage, Sam’s airheaded honey confronts the broken down baddie and convinces him to step in—by playing to his high tech vanity. Even though he is a highly specialized automaton capable of mimicking another machine, you can still find a community college level of persuasion to get his busted carcass up and fighting.
