TWiG 2008-05-19: The Tale of the Lonely Portable

I never thought I’d see the day.

When is the last time this happened?

Somehow, some way, the Nintendo DS is without a single release this week.  Keep in mind, there were over 50 things released for the DS last November.  50, in a single month, and even since then, the DS has always been a reliable source of new releases; in weeks where it seems as though nothing worthwhile is coming out for the consoles, we always had the DS to look to for a new IP, or at least some imaginative use of the stylus.  As recently as last week, the DS has saved us from the banal, so to look at it, so lonely, with nothing new to offer for the week, well...it’s a little bit sad is all.  (sniff.)

(give me a moment to compose myself.)

(deep breath.) Okay.  So who’s to blame for the orphaning of the little portable that could?  Likely, none other than the parents of that portable themselves, those unfeeling, heartless vessels at Nintendo.  Why would they do such a thing to their adorable little two-screen?  Well, Wii Fit is coming this week.  Wii Fit is, of course, poised to be the biggest thing out there since, well, since GTA IV, though I imagine that for most of the people who would actually be interested in Wii Fit, it will be the biggest thing since Wii Sports.  You can’t fake-bowl forever, I suppose.

In any case, Wii Fit looks to be the piece of software (one hesitates to even call it a “game”, really) that will allow the success that the DS has had in the self-help arena (see: Brain Age, Flash Focus, Let’s Yoga!) to be transferred to the console.  Its success will hinge entirely on how willing people will be to shell out $90 for a “balance board” and the software for that balance board, but despite some of the bad press that’s been thrown its way in pre-release, early indications lean toward the Wii-buying population being very willing.

Other than Wii Fit, UEFA EURO 2008 is dominating the release list, with versions coming out for pretty much every platform that’s not the DS.  Soccer/football fans will undoubtedly be delighted.  The oft-delayed Haze, Ubisoft’s yellow-tinted shooter with the awesome website and the silly Korn tie-in, is out tomorrow as well, just in case the FPS crowd is out of things to do.  And then, on wednesday, the increasingly reliable Xbox Live Arcade will see the release of the first episode in the Penny Arcade Adventures series, with the unwieldy and vaguely hilarious subtitle of On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness.  Fans of Gabe and Tycho had best have their download fingers ready.

The rest of the releases (and really, there aren’t very many) and a trailer for Wii Fit are after the jump:

Xbox 360:

UEFA EURO 2008 (2008-05-19)
Penny Arcade Adventures: On the Rain-Slick Precipice of Darkness (2008-05-21)

PS3:

UEFA EURO 2008 (2008-05-19)
Haze (2008-05-20)
SingStar (2008-05-20)

PSP:

UEFA EURO 2008 (2008-05-19)

PS2:

UEFA EURO 2008 (2008-05-19)

Wii:

Wii Fit (2008-05-19)

PC:

Theatre of War (2008-05-19)
Age of Conan: Hyborian Adventures (2008-05-20)
Dracula: Origin (2008-05-20)
The Immortals of Terra (2008-05-20)

DS:

Nope!

—Mike Schiller