Quantcast

Call for Music Critics and Music Bloggers

Music
cover art

Goldie Lookin' Chain

Straight Outta Newport

(Record Collection; US: 10 May 2005; UK: 13 Sep 2004)

From the sound of things, Wales is a pretty boring place. Sure they’ve got the Super Furry Animals and the Manic Street Preachers, but they’ve also got… um. You know, I can’t think of anything.


Only a resolutely dull place could have given birth to the Goldie Lookin’ Chain collective. These guys sound as if they haven’t had anything to do but sit around, get drunk and act stupid for quite a while. Their music is the result of a lifetime’s worth of in-jokes and shared anecdotes, with the somewhat breathless effect of being stuck in a cramped basement apartment with a fuzzy fifth-generation cassette-tape copy of Doggystyle playing in the background and the atmosphere thick with cheap pot smoke and the rancid smell of cheaper beer. In the end, this could either be mind-numbingly stupid or deliriously brilliant.


But is it possible for it to be both?


This is something of a novelty, but it is a sincerely felt novelty. None of the eight members of the GLC posse who appear on this record will ever be mistaken for a lyrical genius—their rhymes are just about as awkwardly stilted as is possible while still managing to rhyme. But dammit, they’re having fun, and the fun is infectious. Many times, similarly “fun” bands end up calculated or annoying—the Bloodhound Gang is a great example of this phenomenon—but the GLC don’t sound like they’re doing anything so much as trying to crack each other up in the studio.


Take, for instance, a track like “Your Mother’s Got a Penis”. The rapping, such as it is, is primitive, so loose as to almost be non-existent, barely making it to the precarious rhymes placed at the end of each line. What is important, however, is building an incredibly elaborate musical edifice out of the very simple purpose of telling someone his mother is ugly. Do I need to go on about how people see the tip of your mother’s dong when she wears a short skirt? No, because they do it for me. These are the only rappers in the world who would brag about having a homosexual experience simply to freak out their crew (“It was purely accidental ‘cause she got me real drunk, / And she made me kiss her elephant trunk”).


They seem to get as much enjoyment out of exploding the myths of the music business as insulting each other. The album opens with “Self-Suicide”, an ode to the effects of death on album sales:


“Committing suicide to announce my career, /
It worked for Biggie and Tupac Sha-keer, /
Jesus was nailed up to some wood, /
Two thousand years later book sales are still good.


Then there’s “Guns Don’t Kill People, Rapper Do”, which claims that “rap is more deadly than fucking Kung Fu”. The track name-checks all the violent and anti-social things they’ve learned from listening to rap records (“Cypress Fucking Hill taught me to make a fucking bong”).


If it sounds like they leave off with a comparatively somber note, with “Time to Make a Change”, it’s only in comparison with the steadfastly silly tone of the rest of the album. It may sound like a paean to the virtue of having a crew and staying off the streets, but then you listen a little bit closer and you realize that they’re still taking the piss, mocking all the self-serious rappers who speak at exhaustive length about how rapping saved their lives and how their crew means the world to them. It’s funny because the GLC are only gangster rap icons in their fantasies, and their constant self-mythologizing is about as funny, once you get the hang of it, as that of P. Diddy or Dr. Dre. The only difference is that those latter artists have the gall to say these things with a totally straight face, with seemingly no awareness of how absurd it all is in the first place.


If the Streets and Dizzee Rascal came along to convince people that British hip-hop wasn’t an oxymoron, the Goldie Lookin’ Chain are intent on reminding everyone just how absurd it is for a bunch of pasty white boys to be frontin’. I don’t know if this is going to stand up as well as the Beastie Boys’ License to Ill, and I’d be seriously surprised if the GLC actually got around to making a Paul’s Boutique, but I do know that this is a funny album. It may not be funny tomorrow, but for the time being I’m laughing.

Rating:

Comments
Now on PopMatters
Love, and Other Indelible Stains (Columns) [Wed, 2:00 am]
Sigur Rós: Valtari (Reviews) [Wed, 2:00 am]
Lemonade: Diver (Reviews) [Wed, 2:00 am]
Cory Branan: Mutt (Reviews) [Wed, 2:00 am]
Big Science: Difficulty (Capsule Reviews) [Wed, 2:00 am]
Cut Chemist: Outro (Revisited) EP (Capsule Reviews) [Wed, 2:00 am]
Cygnets: Dark Days (Capsule Reviews) [Wed, 2:00 am]
Young Hines: Give Me My Change (Reviews) [Wed, 2:00 am]
Gazpacho: March of the Ghosts (Reviews) [Wed, 2:00 am]
Loga Ramin Torkian: Mehraab (Reviews) [Wed, 2:00 am]
Max Payne 3 (Reviews) [Wed, 1:00 am]
Call for Music Critics and Music Bloggers (Announcements) [Tue, 3:00 pm]
  1. The Top 10 Overplayed Songs You Hate by Artists You Love (Sound Affects)
  2. Tea with 'Sherlock': Investigating the Investigators (Features)
  3. Sunk? This 'Battleship' Stunk! (Short Ends and Leader)
  4. Tenacious D: Rize of the Fenix (Reviews)
  5. Top Ten Lost Midwest Punk Singles (Sound Affects)
  6. Like 'Doom', In Heels (Moving Pixels)
  7. 10 Pieces of Cinematic Art That Require Revisiting (Short Ends and Leader)
  8. She's a Rainbow: A Tribute to Donna Summer (Features)
  9. Punk Rock's Pet Sounds: An Interview with Bomb the Music Industry! (Features)
  10. Counterbalance No. 82: U2's 'Achtung Baby' (Sound Affects)
  11. 'Albatross': A Not-So-Weighty Coming-of-Age Meets Mid-Life-Crisis Film (Reviews)
  12. Counterbalance No. 83: The Stooges' 'Fun House' (Sound Affects)
  13. The 10 Greatest Aspects of the 'Star Wars' Franchise (Short Ends and Leader)
  14. We Will Avenge Them Or… Be Avenged?: The Individual in the US Experience (Features)
  15. The Queen and Her Crayons: An Interview With Donna Summer (Features)
  16. Early Summer 2012 New Music Playlist (Mixed Media)
  17. Killer Mike: R.A.P. Music (Reviews)
  18. The Best Canadian Records of the Year? The Fun Agony of Voting for the Polaris Prize Long List (Sound Affects)
  19. Sherlock Holmes, Dirk Gently and the Case of the Eccentric Detective (Columns)
  20. Flash Points: Mommy's Breast, Marriage Equality and Why Chipotle Is King (Features)
  21. Sergio Leone: Something to Do with Death (Columns)
  22. In Support of Supports (Moving Pixels)
  23. Flash Points: Chicks, Sluts and Facebook (Features)
  24. In Defense Of... Rock Radio: A Force in Popular Culture (Columns)
  25. Saint Etienne: Words and Music (Reviews)
  26. The Cult: Choice of Weapon (Reviews)
  27. Garbage: Not Your Kind of People (Reviews)
  28. Willie Nelson: Heroes (Reviews)
  29. 'People's Pornography': The Mundanities of Pornography and Surveillance Culture (Reviews)
  30. Feeling '80s Spirit: Post-Hardcore Punk for the Plastic Generation (Columns)
PM Picks
Music Archive
Announcements
Ratings

10 - The Best of the Best

9 - Very Nearly Perfect

8 - Excellent

7 - Damn Good

6 - Good

5 - Average

4 - Unexceptional

3 - Weak

2 - Seriously Flawed

1 - Terrible

© 1999-2012 PopMatters.com. All rights reserved.
PopMatters.com™ and PopMatters™ are trademarks
of PopMatters Media, Inc.

PopMatters is wholly independently owned and operated.
PopMatters is a member of BUZZMEDIA Music, MOG and Guardian Select.