Photo credit: Jason McMaster

Machine Gun Fellatio is a name that doesn’t roll off the tongue without a little protest. The band began the set with only one band member, KK Juggy, doing a couple campy acoustic numbers. Looking very Priscilla Queen of the Desert, it wasn’t until later that I realized he was a she when it did a version of the ping pong ball scene. She was dressed like what appeared to be a drag queen, but was later revealed to be a stripper; she came off like a borscht-belt Serge Gainsbourg, complete with one song in French, followed by a melody line delivered in a beer gargle, then punctuated with a belch. She finished off her solo portion of the set with a certain chart-topper, “Dirty Fucking Whore”.

The rest of the band entered displaying a fashion sense that was vastly more questionable than that of the stripper sidekick. Lead guitarist The Love Shark wore a speed skating suit with converse wrestling shoes. Points for the wrestling shoes even if they are so last spring. Lead singer Pinky Beecroft had a yellow-gold velvet top and red-maroon velvet pants. Aren’t you supposed to match colors, not textiles? Backup singer The Widow Jones was a busty woman with a short blue dress decorated in a mashed up military motif—or maybe Boy Scout? Chit Chat von Loopin Stab, yet another backup singer/poly-instrumentalist, wore a toga and, as I later discovered, not much else. Second guitarist and sometimes keyboardist Three K had on a snakeskin top and bottom (another case of mismatched colors but well-matched materials), topped off with a high hat paneled with mirrors much like a disco ball. Drummer Bryan Ferrysexual had an equally slapped together outfit, but thankfully was hidden behind his kit.

Despite the band’s fashion sense that looked less rock and roll and more like a trip to the Salvation Army, they could play. And they played well. Many of them played more than one instrument. Most of them sang. All of it was done cohesively and on key. But it was flat. At best it was like a bunch of session guys got together, smoked a lot of pot, and decided that they would start a band as a joke. At worst, it was like a really good wedding band that drank punch spiked with an unidentified hallucinogen. Splitting the difference, it was like a solid bar band that decided to throw out all those covers and start playing originals.

With songs like “The Girl of My Dreams Is Giving Me Nightmares” and “Love Is a Four Letter Word”, Machine Gun Fellatio sounds good on paper. Clever and funny songs performed by competent musicians. But live it really falls apart, and there was already this band called King Missile that did the silly song thing.

Machine Gun Fellatio has a huge lineup and it’s not clear what some of the band members added to the mix other than more insanity. Now I’m all for insanity when it’s unpredictable or even dangerous. But their particular brand was scatter-brained and shticky. At some point in the middle of the set Chit Chat ran around the stage and in the audience, dry humping everything in sight. This included a keyboard and me. This is when I found out he had small retaining sock on underneath his toga and nothing else. As crazy as this sounds, it just reminded me of when my uncle used to smoke too much pot at Thanksgiving and try to contribute to the conversation. The effort is appreciated, but it just doesn’t work. Later, when Chit Chat tried to one-up himself by running around without even the toga on, he failed even more miserably. His toga off, it was very difficult to take his sexuality seriously. Paunchy, pasty, a stuffed Pooh Bear strapped over his crotch and not at all attractive, he is the last person besides a family member (hot cousins not included) that I would want to see balancing on top of the PA stack. That’s a trick that barely worked for Eddie Vedder with his clothes on. Not that I’m the biggest Pearl Jam fan, but they at least put on a good show when they filmed the “Evenflow” video—he jumped off the speakers. When that happened, the show ended and Eddie limped off stage. No such luck tonight. Chit Chat returned to the stage unscathed and remained unclothed.

Lucky for me, Chit Chat was not the only one to get naked. KK Juggy returned to stage, this time dressed as a naughty nurse. But not for long. On another solo number, she reminded the audience that the downstairs of the Pussycat Lounge is a strip club. Dancing and singing the while time, KK proved that she was indeed not a transvestite and in fact a woman. Attaching some pasties and putting on a scanty bottom, KK and the rest of the band finally finished off the set.

There were people, American people in the audience that knew the words to many if not all of Machine Gun Fellatio’s songs. People danced, albeit poorly, but danced all the same. And their website claims they played shows with Duran Duran in the UK. Lucky for us here in the States they only made it to Los Angeles and New York. So you won’t have to go out of your way to miss them if you’re in the States. And if you’re not, make sure to show up late if they open for your favorite band. That way you won’t be disappointed.