If you’re like me, you assume that the Bush family and their Trilateralist allies are in cahoots with alien overlords to enslave our sad, small species. What a fool I’ve been. Craig Baldwin makes clear that the cabalists running Washington, Inc. are really intrepid defenders of humanity against an atavistic race of aliens who seek to rule spaceship Earth after despoiling their own homeworld.

Or something. In his 1991 film Tribulation 99: Alien Anomalies Under America, Craig Baldwin weaves together a riot of conspiracy theories to build the ultimate right-wing nightmare:  an evil alliance of communists, aliens, and various non-white folks committed to destroying Norteamérica. By using stock footage, In Search of… b-roll, and creepy theremin sounds, Baldwin evokes a familiar and spooky world of ‘70s paranormality, ‘50s anti-communist loopiness, and ‘80s reactionary politics. It is dizzying, fascinating, and sometimes hilarious as it critiques the US’ often absurd colonial depredations in Central and South America.

I hesitate to try to summarize Baldwin’s theory, but here goes. In 1000 AD, Quetzalcoatl, a planet that exactly shares Earth’s orbit on the opposite side of the sun, is destroyed and some of its inhabitants, quetzals, flee to our big, blue marble. While their planet breaks apart to form the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, quetzals land in Antarctica and climb thru an active volcano to the caves below. From the Earth’s hollow heart, the quetzals make war on humankind. To slake their hideous demands, South American natives sacrifice humans on blood-stained pyramids to their quetzal masters.

Since American underground nuclear tests in the ‘40s and ‘50s, however, the enraged quetzals will no longer settle for such small potatoes. Realizing the potential threat nuclear weapons pose, the quetzals begin to recruit human allies to aid their cause. Beginning with Jacobo Arbenz in Guatemala, the aliens begin collaborating with anti-imperialist politicians throughout the Southern Hemisphere.

Fortunately, visionary and patriotic Americans like Watergate burglar E. Howard Hunt step up to save humanity. Working with allies like Nazi war criminal Klaus Barbie, Henry Kissinger, and the freedom-loving Cuban fascists of Alpha 66, Hunt brings good old Yanqui know-how to the war against quetzals. Arming death squads, right-wing militias, and aspiring dictators throughout Latin America, American reactionaries take the fight to the scaly and evil aliens. From deposing Chile’s Salvador Allende to mining Nicaraguan harbors to the US’ slapstick attempts to assassinate Fidel Castro, America’s military misadventures in the Southern Hemisphere are recast as resourceful strikes against evil alien invaders. Characters from George Bush I to Manuel Noriega to Howard Hughes make appearances and contribute to the vertigo while Baldwin walks us through the post-war of US intervention in Latin America.

The sharp-eyed viewer will be rewarded with interesting trivia (Grenada’s right-wing president urged the UN to name 1978 International Year of the UFO before being deposed by Communists, occasioning our invasion) and reminded of disturbing facts (Dan Quayle was, in fact, vice-president of the US at one point). Further, the xenophobic mosaic that Baldwin builds is incredibly detailed and features a number of great laugh lines. For example, we learn that the hole in the Ozone layer over the South Pole was created by the quetzals to attack those most likely to fall victim to skin cancer: the world’s white people.

In 48 minutes Baldwin manages to confuse, amuse, and inform without seeming arch or heavy-handed. By moving deftly, Tribulation 99: Alien Anomalies Under America avoids being smug while driving the point home relentlessly. Craig Baldwin’s director’s commentary is interesting and adds to the experience. It’s well worth the time.

The two short films included on this DVD are also interesting. One (Wild Gunmen) uses Baldwin’s trademark montage technique to examine American ideas of violence and masculinity while the second reprises many of the themes of Tribulation 99. Rocketkitkongokit uses voice-overs and montages to tell the story of the West’s support of brutal dictator Mobutu Sese Seko in the Congo. Backed by the CIA, Mobutu murdered nationalist president Patrice Lumumba and took power in order to plunder the country. The film also tells the unlikely story of Mobutu’s partnership with right-wing German defense companies to build—get this—a space program of sorts. The story of this project (OTRAG) and how Mobutu handed over a fifth of the country to the Germans is fascinating. Frankly, the story is so loopy that I doubted it was true until I looked it up. Really a solid addition to the DVD.