The 10 Greatest Cinematic Slackers

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Wednesday, Aug 17, 2011
With The Big Lebowski hitting Blu-ray this week, it's time to champion the Top 10 Titans of toking and taking it easy.

What, exactly, is a slacker? Your dad would probably be a good source for such a definition. How about your teachers, or your college professors? Maybe your boss or your wife could come up with a decent ID. Then there’re your friends, associates, buddies and other partners in passivity. By their very nature, slackers are sensitive to being mislabeled. Just because you work 70 hours a week and can’t find time to fire up a fat one doesn’t mean the purposefully prone should be citied for their seemingly endless ability to do so. In fact, when measured against the rallying rat race of this or any other future shock society, the slacker is our cup of good cheer. He or she is wish fulfillment in a Taco Bell shaped body.


Naturally, the movies have made them masters of their own particular domain as well. Everyone from Cheech and Chong to Harold and Kumar have been championed for their choice of recreational pharmaceutical (and reaction to same). Between old school interpretations (beatnik joke butt Maynard G. Krebs) and au current examples (James Franco in… well… everything), we get the media defined details. Luckily, the films featuring these fun loving freeloaders have worked their way, like cannabis smoke, deep into the public consciousness (like The Big Lebowski, now out on Blu-ray in a classy Collector’s Edition). In fact, the ten examples here could contain every possible permutation of the slacker conceit ever created, beginning with a pen and ink version that still remains a viable illustration of humorous human inertness…
  


 
#10 & #9 - Beavis and Butthead

While many believe this heavy metal damaged pair are the direct product of a popular MTV cartoon series, true fans remember when Mike Judge introduced them as part of the classic “Frog Baseball” short. As accurate a reflection of wayward adolescence that’s ever been caught on camera (or in this case, animation cells), these hopelessly lost teens are the direct byproduct of a latchkey lifestyle, too much free time, too little common sense, and way too much media influence. The result is a kind of specialized regression, an existence made up of incessant talk about sex and a significant lack of same. Even their ineffectual laughs indicate a certain belittling brain damage. 




 
#8 & #7 - Jay and Silent Bob

If the aforementioned uber-dorks had human counterparts, they’d probably be this undynamic duo. Created by writer/director Kevin Smith as a humorous homage to the kind of losers who used to hang around his local convenience stores, the drug dealing, smack talking team, boom box move busting pair are the Greek Chorus to all the geek angst going round. They represent the very essence of slacker - serious without being secure, savants without a requisite skill set to be good at. Indeed, if loafing and dropping the F-bomb were talents, Jay would be a genius. Instead, he’s the profane yin to his silent partner’s profound yang.




 
#6 - Benjamin Stone (Knocked Up)

Talk about failing upward! Seth Rogen’s character in this classic Judd Apatow comedy has absolutely nothing going for him. He has no job. He has no game. He has no sense of responsibility. So naturally he gets to bed E! News hottie Katherine Heigl and wind up her bumbling baby daddy. As the proto-ideal of the post-millennial male, this dumpy dude with a solid sense of humor brought unlikely sexy back to slacker. He also argued that men are meant to be weaned and toilet trained, just like infants, reared by their women to dispense with the Neanderthal Id of instinct and become decent, hardworking semi-humans.




 
#5 - David Wooderson (Dazed and Confused)

He’s the lothario icon for the ages, a mid-20s tease whose chasing skirt that could easily land him in jail bait… jail. Still, David Wooderson is an idol to those in his Me Decade purview, the goal every girl-less guy wants to emulate explicitly. Like a wise white panty guru, actor Matthew McConaughey puts on the lazy, laconic drawl, giving every one of his line reading the necessary black light sleaze a character like Wooderson requires. Even better, writer/director Richard Linklater gives him memorable dialogue that, today, acts like the Gospel According to a Seemingly Inebriated Muscle Car Jesus.


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