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Bowled Away: Super Bowl XLVII

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Monday, Feb 4, 2013
Despite billions of dollars worth of half-time and commercial hype, the most interesting part of the show was the game.

Super Bowl XLVII managed to do something completely unprecedented. With a rather lackluster half-time show and the worst crop of commercials we’ve seen in years, the game was actually the most interesting part of the day.


CBS started their special coverage of the game seven hours before the game actually started. The highlight of this was an announcer’s assessment that the game was “going to be very competitive”. This is why they are paid big bucks, people. 


Easily the best performance of the night, a choir of 26 students from Sandy Hook Elementary School sang a pitch-perfect “America the Beautiful” with Jennifer Hudson.
  




Alicia Keys played a silver grand piano during her rendition of “The Star Spangled Banner”. Given last year’s nightmare of Christina Aguilera forgetting the lyrics, Keys’ simple, understated version (with the correct lyrics) was a welcome change.




The coin toss came up heads. Congratulations to all those who voted the same at Papa John’s website, because you have just won a pizza.




I guess most of the players lost the pizza bet, because there sure was a lot of fighting and arguing on the field. A rare interception was given with two “unnecessary roughness” personal fouls. Come on guys, like this Volkswagon commercial says, get happy.






The commercials might have sold for $4 million dollars this year, but there were a lot of reruns in the mix. There were some bright spots however, like the annual appearance of the E*Trade baby.




And it’s time for the half-time show. Beyonce performs “Crazy in Love”, “Baby Boy”, and snippets of other tunes while writhing on the TV screen floor in kaleiodoscope patterns, stomping, kicking, and jamming with a spark-shooting guitarist. In other words, it was exactly like every other Beyonce concert. The background vocals and Jay-Z’s part of “Crazy in Love” were taped in, so that was a little disappointing.




The best part was when Destiny’s Child showed up to do parts of “Bootylicious”, “Independent Woman Pt. 1” (complete with the Charlie’s Angels bit), and “Single Ladies”. After her last solo turn at “Halo”, Beyonce and her many TV screen images of herself had left the stage. 


Just as we were getting interested in this game, (The rival coaches are brothers! The guy they based The Blind Side on is here!) the power shuts off. Yes, somebody overloaded the circuits. (I’m personally blaming Beyonce’s TV screens.)




Nearly an hour later, the lights had slowly returned to the Superdome and the game was back in session. The San Francisco 49ers had some hope of turning the game around, but the game ended with a score of 34 to 31 in favor of the Baltimore Ravens.




Wrapping up the night, Joe Flacco was named Most Valuable Player. In a classy move, he let one of his teammates speak. In a very unclassy move, CBS aired him cursing afterwards on national television, in front of lots of little children. Was that really necessary?




After the show, CBS aired a special new episode of Elementary. This alone means that we can expect to see the show on air for several years.

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