20 Questions: The Black Watch

1. The latest book or movie that made you cry?

I dropped an unabridged Random House dictionary on my foot while wearing flip-flops. Needless to say, the tears welled up big time.

2. The fictional character most like you?

I am Holden Caulfield. My penchant for italics proves it.

3. The greatest album, ever?

The greatest album ever is Revolver, but if you quote me, The White Album and Rubber Soul are going to be seriously miffed.

4. Star Trek or Star Wars?

Starsailor. (Just kidding: they’re the worst.)

5. Your ideal brain food?

I’ve never tried the sesos tacos at any truck in Los Angeles.

6. You’re proud of this accomplishment, but why?

I shall take this one seriously. My favorite accomplishment is being a good dad and a good son.

7. You want to be remembered for…?

I would like to be remembered for being a dedicated artist.

8. Of those who’ve come before, the most inspirational are?

The Rutles recently usurped the Beatles as my most inspirational inspiration.

9. The creative masterpiece you wish bore your signature?

If any Jackson Pollock painting bore my signature I would be ecstatic… and retired from the onerous day job.

10. Your hidden talents…?

Don’t know about hidden talents, but I’ve of late certainly been hiding from the world… and creditors.

11. The best piece of advice you actually followed?

The best piece of advice came from a psychologist who, seeing me parading my broken heart a few years ago, said:

“Get attention in a good way, John.”

12. The best thing you ever bought, stole, or borrowed?

The best thing I ever bought was Donny Osmond’s Gibson ES 335 — cherry red, 1969 — for $450. No kidding.

13. You feel best in Armani or Levi’s or…?

Levi’s.

14. Your dinner guest at the Ritz would be?

My dinner guest at the Ritz would be Sir Vidia Naipaul. Or Ana Ivanovic.

15. Time travel: where, when and why?

I would like to go back in time to the other day when I dropped the Random House on my foot. Of course I would wear steeltoe hobnail boots this time.

16. Stress management: hit man, spa vacation or Prozac?

I manage stress by playing serious tennis.

17. Essential to life: coffee, vodka, cigarettes, chocolate, or…?

Coffee and marijuana — essential essentials.

18. Environ of choice: city or country, and where on the map?

I could never not live in a very big city.

19. What do you want to say to the leader of your country?

I would tell the leader of our country to tell the world we’re not the omni-police any more. And mean it.

20. Last but certainly not least, what are you working on, now?

I am working on my two-hand backhand (always), publishing my first piece of fiction (a novella called The Knucklehead Chronicles, out next year on Full Court Press), and a summer 2008 acoustic tour of England.