The idea for writing an essay on The Wizard came after watching the Angry Video Game Nerd episode about it. The basic criticism of the movie is that it’s a giant commercial for Nintendo products. While this is technically true, I’d just randomly watched The Mindscape of Alan Moore before this one and was full of some heady notions about the power of writing. When he claimed that most modern magi are drunks, neglecting their talent or working in advertising, it made me wonder what kind of magic would go into an entire film that’s about a single product. If you think about it, there aren’t too many films that can actually claim this. TV series? Sure, G.I. Joe and other shows were glorified ways to sell toys. But those were only about 24 minutes long. An entire 90 minute film that’s about selling a product to a person? That is a spectacle which, however much bullshit it may be proposing, is worth taking a look at just for its sheer audacity.
The film begins with a troubled child lost and confused, only able to say the word “California”. We are then surrounded by his family in turmoil. A divorced mother has taken refuge with a man who doesn’t love her children. The father, unable to perform the traditional motherly functions of cooking for his children, is shown missing her. She is also sorely missed by her two boys, but when the father is asked to care for his third helpless child, the divorce blocks him because he does not have custody. Even Christian Slater, playing himself trapped in another bad movie, is acting like a dick. What could possibly heal this broken family and restore the joy to their lives? Fred Savage, equipped with his grapefruit head, only knows that family is what matters most. He traces his third brother to a mental home where he was placed by the cruel step-father. He sees the fate his brother has been doomed to: sitting blank faced, watching television, with no California in sight. What could make the activity of watching T.V. not so bland, no so emotionless? Fred Savage has a plan: sneak onto a truck full of chocolate cake while they head towards his brother’s favorite state! Fred is eventually horrified to discover that the script is going to demand someone change at some point, and storms back with the plot device that they are out of money. It is then that he discovers that his youngest brother, in a scant five minutes, has gained 50,000 points in Double Dragon. This sentence was originally a long explanation about why this was impossible, but then I realized that I’d have to do that for every other part of the film and replaced it with this.
Quick to notice this prowess at video games is the girl from The Goonies. Attracted by his skill at games, she is quick to recognize that his gaming abilities are a potential source of income and power for the once ostracized little brother. Fred Savage, grapefruit shining, shows his support for his little brother by betting money on his brother’s skills. The challenge does pan out but they are soon forced to find other ways to make money once the bus leaves them. Why not gambling? Indeed, risk is a fundamental theme of this film as 3 children hitch-hike across the country to a video game tournament in Los Angeles. Roger Ebert complained that the film actively promoted that children would be safe wandering the open roads. Which is true, but in the spirit of the film it is also promoting the liberation that Nintendo has provided these kids. Thanks to his ability to master Nintendo, they have money to spend, and one can’t help but notice that Fred is a little more confident with the Goonies chick. Interspersed with these successes are scenes of traveling through a vast and exciting landscape. The freedom these children have gained through Nintendo is developed by showing the oddities of the world. This is made literal by showing bikers, truckers, and all the other exciting things kids would love to do if they were truly free. Before Nintendo they were sleeping outside and hearing wolves; after Nintendo they’ve got a chick and money and the open road.
Christian Slater and the Dad are unable to communicate as they look for Fred Savage and the Wizard. The father’s ineptitude continues, allowing the empowerment of the son as he is the only one who can “follow the map”. Christian Slater struggles to express his feelings for the Dad until, while laying in his boxers with the Dad in a very small bed, he tells him that he loves him. The father is unable to appreciate this moment and Christian Slater is forced to retreat into video games. Despite the initial resistance of the Dad, Christian Slater awakes to see the Dad enjoying the same game. They have a newfound common ground thanks to Nintendo. Fred Savage, the Wizard, and the chick from The Goonies must continue to rely on their game skills and luck to survive. A couple of cow farmers prove that adults can’t be trusted, and some old geezers prove to be easy bait for the Wizard’s skills. But they soon realize that it’s not just adults who can’t be trusted, but kids too. A couple of older punks victimize them because of the Wizard’s Nintendo skills and beat up Fred Savage. Even worse, some gamers can actually be total assholes. The Kid With The Power Glove is quick to demonstrate his mastery of the Nintendo Universe. He owns every game (all 97) and he’s good at all of them. Our shining model for competency, the only player who is a worthy opponent of the Wizard, attained his status through practice and by buying every product possible. When he pulls out the Power Glove, everyone is in awe of its newness. The Wizard, firmly warned not to ruin the pace of the film, refuses to play against him because, “California”.
Throughout these moments there have been the interspersed scenes of the adult males acting out their masculine aggression in unproductive ways. A Professional Child Kidnapper and the Dad engage in several such battles with their cars. Smashing, destroying, and ruining each other’s productivity, the two men are not just at war, they are undermining their very ability to work as a business. If only something could come along that would allow them to express this sense of dominance that they mistakenly project on one another. As the Power Glove Kid and the Wizard show to us all, it is the children relying on Nintendo who have found an alternative. With these shenanigans also come the scenes of the games themselves. Rarely are we subjected to mindless slashing sessions. Driving a car in traffic, defusing bombs, and acrobatics are the themes of each gaming scene. To the parent watching Nintendo in action, they can see that this is a game system that’s about something more than just sitting front of a TV. Eventually there is a plot twist and it is revealed that the source of the Wizard’s trauma was watching his twin sister drown. The chick from The Goonies is quick to join in, admitting that her father is a trucker and that she wants to buy her own father a new home. But the kids know they are going to have to work hard to win at Nintendo despite all these issues. Investing several hundred dollars in the Nintendo hotline, they are quick to find the information they need to become video game masters. Working tirelessly, they demonstrate the hard work and financial investment it takes to be as good at games as someone like the Kid With The Power Glove.
The culmination of the film is at Universal Studios. In a bold move, the qualifying game is Ninja Gaiden, a title whose challenge is legendary and that few can handle. The Wizard is able to deliver though, but just before he can move on to the final round the Professional Child Kidnapper is upon them. In these final moments the film makes its protagonists become parts of their very hobby. The screaming King Kong and the jets of fire all introduce fantastic elements that deliver these kids into a video game itself. The Nintendo has become real. In the nick of time they get back to the competition and the Wizard is able to play. In this final showdown, all members of the family are shown drawn together to support him. As each one roots for the Wizard, they slowly find a sense of commonality amongst each other. Even the Professional Child Kidnapper is seen rooting for him in the end. The once broken family has been healed by the power of Nintendo. The final scene shows the Wizard finally finding his peace as they drive back to Utah. Earlier in the film, the first coherent words he murmured were, “I don’t want to Quit [playing Nintendo so we can win the Big Tournament and I love you].” Truly, it is the Wizard who senses that his gaming abilities are not just about playing games. It is he who detects the family coming back together through Nintendo, who realizes that by competing with the Kid With The Power Glove he can someday go on to put the memories of his sister to rest. The Wizard is able to succeed at this thanks to the power of, one more time, Nintendo.
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