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The Dr. Octagon Chronicles: Chapter 5

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Friday, Jun 2, 2006
by PopMatters Staff


The Dr. Octagon Chronicles


Cassettes Won’t Listen “Aliens” -  Hearing Aid Remix [MP3]


Chapter 5: Cassettes Won’t Listen “Aliens” -  Hearing Aid Remix


OCD International HQ

A red light blinks on the machine. As play is pressed, a frantic message comes over sound system.


"I just got chased by a freakin’ gorilla in a pick up truck. What’s going on? Doesn’t feel right. I’m coming to L.A. to get to the bottom of this. Sonic out.”


The staff at OCD Headquarters had heard rumors that something was happening on the east coast and they had sent out a crack team of experts to investigate. Entrusted with the cure provided by The Money Fight, they knew they could be of great assistance. Gray Kid and Mike Relm were all but recovered and ready to get back to deciphering the strange messages received from Dr. Octagon.

There had been some changes to the original package they received. It had begun to blink "06272006" repeatedly and to the dismay of their hackers, they had not been able to figure out this new level to the mystery. Things were stable, yet not moving forward. Frustrated, the lead hacker sat down over the monitors to give it one more try.


While working through algorithms, polyrhythms and audiological historical charts, the monitor began to shimmy, shake and worm out of focus. The screen flashed "Cassettes Won’t Listen" over and over till it went blank. When it came back, a bearded man in glasses had replaced the charts in front of him.  As the man began to speak, it seemed like the voice was coming from inside the hacker’s head.

I am Cassettes Won’t Listen. I have hacked into your system and have been following your progress on The Return Dr. Octagon.  I waited to reveal myself until I knew you were good people and could be trusted. I know you are trying to decipher what he sent you and I think I may be of some assistance.


About 8 years ago, along with 5 friends, I was abducted. We were tortured, cloned and kept in isolation. Of the 6 of us, two survived. The other survivor, Travis Walten, was killed by one of the clones because of what we knew. I have since gone underground as a One Man Army to fight these imposters. The fact that I survived is not important. What is important is who I found on that ship.


Dr. Octagon was kept in the cell next to me. The aliens had abducted him as a prime candidate to study all things regarding grills, pills and bills. He had been cloned, and his clones had been sent out to destroy the universe. That’s who visited the planet of The Money Fight people. That’s who have been causing havoc all over the universe.


What I am trying to say is that Dr. Octagon is alive.


I was able to record a conversation with him before we were released using a makeshift recording device of duct tape and space age technology, which I am uploading now. You know everything I know. I will rendezvous with your team when they get to New York City and explain the situation. We will fight the good fight and continue to search out these clones and destroy them. These imitators must be stopped at all costs. Cassettes Won’t Listen ...out.

As the bearded man faded from the screen, a green button appeared. The hacker hesitated, shook his head and pressed the flashing icon. The hacker listened in awe as the history of Dr. Octagon began to reveal itself. As he ran to inform his superiors, a van screeched to a halt outside hq…

Cassettes Won’t Listen “Aliens” -  Hearing Aid Remix [MP3]


Previous Chapters:
A Gorilla Driving a Pick-Up Truck -  Rob Sonic Road Rage Remix [MP3]
The Gray Kid Al Greezy remix [MP3]
Al Green: The Gray Kid Al Greezy remix [MP3]
Mike Relm 20-minute Return of Dr Octagon megamix [MP3]


The Return of Dr Octagon hits stores June 27th.

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