WHAT HAPPENS IN VEGAS Scheduled release date: May 9
Oh, if only the saying were true.
But you know what really should have stayed in Vegas? Cameron Diaz’s and Ashton Kutcher’s performances in this hammy, showy, circus-freak-act of a flick, that’s what.
What Happens in Vegas is a cautionary tale about two people who wake up to a helluva hangover when they realize they got hitched during a night of wild partying.
How very Britney Spears of them.
Then, just as the unhappily hitched couple is talking annulment, one of them wins a huge jackpot with - wait for it, wait for it - the other’s quarter.
So now they need a high-powered divorce attorney, marital counseling or, because this is a stupid comedy, both.
Queen Latifah and Dennis Miller show up to mug for the camera; Diaz turns on her weird, shrieky, herky-jerky schtick; Kutcher acts dumb and makes us all question Demi Moore’s judgment, and for every second I continue to watch this trailer, I die just a little bit inside.
Rating: Zero dancing popcorn guys (out of 4)