Bronze: The Statue in the Stone

Bronze’s sound is somewhat unusual for 2003, but not at all an unfamiliar one for those who listened to “postmodern”/”alternative” rock radio in the 1980s and early 1990s, suffered some of its more egregious Top 40-rejected-but-still-aspiring power pop bands, and lived to tell the tale. A three-piece based in Newcastle-Upon-Tyne, England, Bronze features singer/songwriter Paul Handyside, bassist Rob Tickell, and drummer Ade Evans. Handyside’s the main creative force in the group, a former major label warrior (from his days with minor ’80s band Hurrah!) now toiling in the indie leagues. The Statue in the Stone, Bronze’s debut album, suggests that Handyside hasn’t strayed far from his roots, regardless of how paltry the size of the industry machine behind him is these days.

The Statue in the Stone‘s opening track, “Let It Rain”, is atypical for the album, and in my opinion, by far its best. “Let It Rain” sounds nearly exactly like the early recordings of second-tier-but-not-in-my-heart British Invasion band the Hollies if Allan Clarke had possessed just a little more of a Neil Diamond-type croon quality to his voice. The jangly guitars, the layered but slightly rough-sounding production, the sustained harmonies — it’s all there, and it’s all fun. But this “success” is rarely repeated on The Statue in the Stone, an album full of decently-constructed pop songs that just have too much cheese and predictability for my taste.

The second track, “Presence of Greatness”, typifies the album’s problems. The song’s got a fun little melodic riff that could be the basis for a passable two-minute pop song. But instead it follows the poor example of so many songs that found themselves just outside the top 40 (in 1987): it goes on far too long, through way too many repetitions of the overly earnest chorus, through a sigh-inducing number of slight variations on the melodic theme. Handyside continually strains his voice to the top of his range to show you he really means it, man, but the emotion just never really comes through. The whole thing just comes off as an exercise in insincerity and pap.

The rest of the album pretty much follows the example of “Presence of Greatness”. Very little stands out, as song after song treads nearly the same path. Some do it with a little more rock or a little more pathos but nothing really radical or different happens. Songs titles like “Feel It Now” and “Motel of Love” don’t inspire much confidence, and the lyrics throughout the album do nothing to help the situation. Halfway decipherable rhyming dictionary gems include (as far as I can tell) ” The way a rider drops his rein / Like a pilot to your plane” or “You might think that you have heaven in your hear t/ You might think the jungle dreams won’t fall apart / Then your friends all say good bye / It’s just a lie / It’s just a lie”. All I can say is yawn and zzzzz.

If you tend to cite Nirvana as the cause of the death of your particular flavor of alternative rock, and have previously refused to buy anything recorded by a band formed after 1990, then The Statue in the Stone may be the new release you’ve been waiting over a decade for. If, on the other hand, you rarely find yourself nostalgic for the sub-subgenre which this album so vividly recalls, you should probably steer clear. I know I will.