Fieldy’s Dreams: Rock ‘n’ Roll Gangster

In the press release for Rock ‘n’ Roll Gangster, the first solo release from Korn bassist Fieldy (under the pseudonym “Fieldy’s Dreams”), he is quoted as saying “Yeah, I think if a Korn fan buys it they’ll probably be a little bit disappointed because they’re gonna think it’s probably some kind of Korn related [endeavor] and, you know, it’s not.” Oh, Fieldy, they’ll have so much more to be disappointed about than that.

The most entertaining thing about this collection is, unfortunately, the press release, which most consumers will not get to see. It is hilarious in the sense that Fieldy, and apparently Epic records as well, are dead serious about this record. He actually expects urban contemporary and hip-hop radio stations to play cuts from it.

Oh, did I mention that Rock ‘n’ Roll Gangster is a rap record?

Don’t get me wrong, I know that Korn is a part of the whole nu-rawk/rap-metal/rap and roll movement or whatever it’s being called this week, and I do like some of the groups who fit into the genre (like Korn, Linkin Park, Rage Against The Machine, and, if I am just too tired to change the station, Limp Bizkit), but not everyone deserves time on the M-I-C. And Rock ‘n’ Roll Gangster doesn’t even fall under that genre. It is, from beginning to end, an actual, by-the-books hip-hop record. That is, if you overlook the fact that Fieldy’s rhyming skills are complete unadulterated garbage.

It seems that the idea to record this disc came from watching way too much BET and listening to someone’s rap music collection. It’s as if Fieldy said, “Dude, I could do that! Get some hot beats, talk about weed, money and women . . . Dude, I’m gonna be the next Method Man!” (Um, how about no?) The result? Seventeen songs that sound like your biology teacher rapping. Stiff, forced, rhymes that sound like they were as painful to recite, as they are to listen to.

As stated earlier, the subject matter ranges from pimping (“Baby Hugh Hef”), to marijuana (“Are You Talkin’ to Me?” and “You Saved Me”), to women (“Comin’ from a Friend” and “Put a Week on It”), to violence (“Child Vigilante”), and even the Ultimate Fighting Championship, with “Ortiz Anthem”, a tribute to his friend and UFC world champion Tito Ortiz. And the rhymes? Oh, classic lines that will go down in history (that’s sarcasm, people): “Don’t hate cuz you can’t relate / I’m countin’ my money all the way to the bank / I get everything I want, and everything I see / I’m a pimp by blood just like Jay-Z” (from “Baby Hugh Hef”). Did your nephew make that line up for you in kindergarten? Hey, Fieldy, we all heard that Jay-Z album too.

Or perhaps these mind-bending words of wisdom from the track “Just for Now”, an ode to the curse of celebrity: “This fame and this fortune / Is pure f**kin’ hell / Take it away / Nothing would change”. Sure it would. If you took that away, you wouldn’t have resources to put crap like this out for innocent Korn fans to buy by mistake. Fame and fortune are pure f**kin’ hell? No, suffering through this irritating album, that’s pure hell. And let’s not even speak on the blatant Cypress Hill rip-off used in the hook of “Are You Talkin’ To Me?” Originality — too much to ask?

Not even guest appearances from Tre of Pharcyde, RBX, Sondoobie of Funkdoobiest, Cheech Marin of Cheech & Chong and Korn’s Jonathan Davis could save this awful, awful disc. Fieldy is quoted in the press release as saying, “You know what? I could have had a lot more guest artists on there, but I didn’t want to overdo it this time.” This time? Is that a threat?

On a slightly more positive note, the beats on the record, which were for the most part, made by Fieldy (seven songs were done by L.A. producer Polar Bear), are banging. Being the bassist for one of the most successful rock bands in history, it makes sense that he would have an ear for what’s hot music wise. Unfortunately, his ear goes deaf at that point.

I really wanted to like this album, but Fieldy’s vocals made it nearly impossible to do so. Maybe if it was an instrumental recording it would have fared a little better, but it wasn’t. Avoid Rock ‘n’ Roll Gangster like the plague. Fieldy’s Dream is a nightmare.