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Hugo of Anthropia

A My Favorite Things Short Take: Iron Maiden for Maidens

A My Favourite Things Short Take: Iron Maiden for Maidens
—By Hugo, of Anthropia


It goes without saying that Iron Maiden had a great impact on most of the actual metal artists. Bands as different as Cradle of Filth, Dream Theater, or System of a Down regularly cite Maiden as an influence. So I won’t be very original in saying that I’m also part of their die-hard fanbase.


“Fear of the Dark” live was the first metal song I ever heard. “Whoa, someone can sing like that?” and “Damn, this guitarist is amazing too!” were certainly my first responses, just before asking “Who is that band?” At that time, I wondered if Dave Murray had some “special pedal effect” to play at that speed. Young and naïve? Yes, I certainly was at that time, but it doesn’t take anything away from Steve Harris’s team.


I won’t go on about Bruce Dickinson’s super charisma and energy, or Adrian Smith’s amazing songs. Everybody knows that these guys are great (and they really have to be, to be up there for 25 years!). But I do have something to add:


I’m sure that male metal fans (and even worse, prog-metal fans) notice that, sometimes (always?), girls change their attitude when they discover the musical preferences of these guys. “You’re a weirdo.” “Don’t even look at me, you satanic music lover!” And so on. Sick of hearing that? Then this method is for you:


How to Make a Girl Understand That Metal Is Good for Her:


1) Make her sit (this is the most delicate point, but if she does it, it means that she’s on the way of the cure)
2) Put a headphone on her ears.
3) Make her listen to 2 or 3 Maiden songs (nothing too aggressive; start with “Wasted Years” or “The Clairvoyant”)
4) Play them again
5) There are now 2 possibilities :
a) She left, running away, screaming incomprehensible words (maybe the introduction to Iron Maiden worked, but you will never know, as you’ll never see her again)
b) She looks at you, tears filling her eyes, saying that this music is so cool, and that she finally understands. If you feel a good vibe, then…
6) Spend the night with the girl… and all that thanks to Iron Maiden!


Seriously, I converted a lot of friends to metal thanks to Maiden. Man, this band saved my social life!


(PS: The method also works with guys. Step 6 is optional in this case.)

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