Insane Shane McKane: I Put the Ho’ in Hoedown

Just the other day I was reading an online article about Toby Keith and how he was miffed that some factions of the public have this image of him being a right-wing Republican. Well, I suppose when you’re backing Dubya and writing silly ass-kicking songs about the Iraq war, these things will happen. But Keith went on to insist that he had voted for some local Democrats as well, blah blah blah. Poor Toby. He wants peace, love and understanding from both parties. Nah, he just wants some more money. To me the guy has always been a joke. Ever since I first heard the corny as hell “Big Ol’ Truck” right through other hilariously nauseating redneck tracks like “Whiskey Girl” and “Beer for My Horses”, I suddenly had a country music icon to detest more than that other goofball Garth Brooks.

Sure, sure. Keith may be keepin’ it real by writing his own crap while he’s endorsing military power and Ford trucks, but no matter. Country music has needed a new hero for a long time, and Keith’s bullshit maverick con game just isn’t believable after you’ve been tortured with “I Love This Bar”. Fortunately there is a new hero on the horizon. A man who will take country music and send it back where it belongs in all of its buck-toothed, corn pone whiskey sippin’ glory.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you Insane Shane McKane.

Who? What? That’s right, baby. Insane Shane McKane. Master of welding rap into country. Kid Rock may think he has a corner on the crossover pop country market, but forget it. Insane Shane is bringing the hood to the farm, and you’d best be watching out, Mr. Keith, lest you want to find your big ol’ truck up on blocks and your honey stolen right out from under you and brought back four hours later used up better than before, yee-haw.

Now I know what you all are saying. You’re saying this is all just a novelty, one big joke, nothing better than when Taco was mangling “Puttin’ on the Ritz” all those years ago. But I say to you no, no, no. Insane Shane is the real deal. Yes, I Put the Ho’ in Hoedown is funny as hell, but only because it’s so damn dead on the money. And the music kicks some serious booty as well. This isn’t your run of the mill joke artist with cheesy MIDI keyboard backing “band”. No, sir. This is top quality rockin’. Surprised? Sure, so was I.

And these are some serious odes that would make any country man weep with jealousy. Only Insane Shane could write a tune about beer called “The 2nd Best Head That a Man Can Get” and sing it with such sincerity. That’s right, McKane is pulling out all the stops and taking the chicks back to the barn with him. Thrill to the boot-scootin’ glory of love in “The Nobel Piece a’ Ass Prize” or the authority-defying blockbuster “I Always Stand Up Straight in my Handcuffs”. These are base country music subjects everyone has joked about, but are you willing to joke along with Insane Shane? Don’t be afraid. This is exactly the kind of country freakout you’ve been waiting for for a long time.

Indeed, it’s hard to argue with such down home sentiments packed into as “I Punched the Boss”, or the ultimate middle finger to those fake country sellouts, “He’s a Pussy-Whipped Cowboy”. But Shane is not afraid to tackle the touchy subjects, the ones that a man can really relate to at the end of the day. Yep, the order here is for booze, broads, and fun, fun, fun till daddy takes the liquor away. But don’t think this is just some silly “Weird Al” Yankovic excursion. This is an album that will have your toes a-tappin’ and the rest of your body rockin’ out all through the wonderful should-I-be-laughing-at-this moments.

So, I tip my 10 gallon to you, Insane Shane. Thank you for snatching back country muzak from those glossy popmeisters and bringing it back to the farm. It’s nice to see an average looking Joe with a slight beer gut singing the truth out there to the new Hee-Haw generation. Perhaps one of these days you’ll be burning down the house at the Grand Ole Opry and being charged for the damages. But that will be all right with me. The music world is a better and much more enjoyable place now that Insane Shane McKane is around to kick up a lot of dirt.