Super Rub-a-Dub

Sony infamously screwed up at last year’s E3. There is no need to go through all the details, but basically, they revealed the price tags for the PS3 and everyone started complaining. It can be argued, however, that the Playstation 3 is a better deal than the Xbox 360 (the awesomeness of the Wii will be excluded from this argument). Sony packaged a Blu-ray player, standardized the controllers, and offered more storage space. Microsoft, on the other hand, charges you 200 dollars for an external HD-DVD player. Every Microsoft accessory is kind of clunky, and the 360 is probably the loudest console ever. Still, the 360 has all the exclusive titles that inspire people to call in sick from work.

Until now.

Super…Ducky Ball?

Actually, I’m just playing. Super Rub a Dub cannot and will not ever be played on another system, but only because Sony literally owns the game.

While searching though Sony’s woefully underdeveloped online store, I found a game called Super Rub-a-Dub and got excited because I thought it was going to be the demo Sony showed at E3 2006. It wasn’t. The demo probably would have been more fun, but I bought it anyway so I could show off the Sixaxis controller to all my friends. “Big deal,” one of them says, “I have a Wii, and this is just a worse version of that marble game.”

Super Rub-a-Dub may be a cute name, but the game is deceptively violent. It involves navigating mazes, trying to rescue ducklings by touching them and guiding them towards a hole. That alone is messed up, but it gets even worse. The harder the levels get, the more sharks — yes, sharks — you have to avoid. The sharks eat your ducklings. This is not a kid-friendly game, it is Finding Nemo, rated PG-13. While you can bounce the sharks out of the tub by lifting the controller, the maneuver is not nearly sensitive enough and I found myself bouncing my mommy duck out of the tub, making my times slower. What’s worrisome about this game is the knowledge that the dragon in Lair is going to be controlled by the Sixaxis. After a few frustrating minutes of trying to tilt the Super Rub-a-Dub tub, it’s daunting to think how hard it might be fly a dragon.

RATING 5 / 10