Sunday, January 1 1995
What is most distressing about 'Swordfish' is John Travolta. More and more, Travolta is becoming a caricature of himself as action anti/hero.
When the Burgomaster (played by still great Horror film legend Christopher Lee) sends Ichabod Crane (Johnny Depp) to Sleepy Hollow, you may suspect that Ichabod is being sent to the land of Hammer Horror, or perhaps the woods of Horror Movies Past.
As I was watching the aseptically insipid 'Summer Catch', I confess, my mind wandered. And I got to thinking, has Freddie Prinze, Jr. ever made an unarguably good movie?"
Here's a terrifying thought: each of the major turning points in your life is reducible to the hairstyle you're wearing at the time. Your graduation, your first job, your marriage, your dead goldfish, your vacation in Italy: all of it is mucked up when filtered through those misty-water-colored memory glasses. If it sounds awful in theory, it's even worse to see it acted out, on a wide screen with lots of close-ups of teary, badly-coifed movie stars backed by a treacly Eric Clapton guitar score.
'Spy Kids' is all fun, sometimes obnoxious, and incessantly cheerful -- having your parents kidnapped is a minor inconvenience, leading to the chance to ride in a submarine that looks like a blowfish. How neat is that!"
To this end, Raymond brings/represents advances not only in technology, but also in romance. He and Liu start making money and inadvertently siphoning off Lord Tan's audience, but this is potential disaster Liu frets because he's actually trying to become financially worthy of marriage to Ling.
In the Disney universe, it's normal to be special, and that's exactly the case with the Cortez family, kids and parents alike.
It's clear in that Hollywood way that Sara's charms are primarily based on the fact that she is glamour girl Charlize Theron in thrift-store drag... stunningly beautiful meets endearingly peculiar.
Truth be told, it's hard to call out 'Scary Movie 2' for being excessively disgusting and stupid, since that's precisely how the sequel to the most profitable R-rated movie in history is selling itself.