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Various Artists, Jazzelicious Presents (Kritzal)
Background music can be good. It provides safe, innocuous, subconsciously fun noise for any lounge or party where staying awake isn't a requirement for your guests. Yes, if falling asleep into your martini is your goal, then pick up Jazzelicious Presents. It's the only collection of slinky, sexy, and completely synthetic Latin/jazz/funk you'll ever need. Put the CD on repeat. Odds are, your guests won't ever pick up on the repetition. Even though six different artists contribute to the album, all the songs blend into one, instantly forgettable arrangement of keyboards, drum machines, and fake maracas. Featuring such gems as "Cali4nia", "Kinda Going Crazy", and "Beach Day", this album should sport the warning, "Will either lull the listener into a stupor or drive him/her to drinking so that he/she may fall into an alcoholic stupor." To be fair, a few acoustic instruments do appear from time to time -- specifically on "King Cobra". On this track, Le D plays what sounds like a genuine, upright bass, and a couple of electric guitar licks… however, that really doesn't make up for the incessant keyboard plinking. In conclusion, if you think your friends will appreciate Jazzelicious Presents while hanging out at your apartment drinking wine or scotch or what-have-you, consider going with the real thing. Invest in some Miles Davis or Chucho Valdes. Or find some new friends.