[1 March 2005]
The Human Marvels
Photo courtesy of bobshermanart.com
At the risk of drawing attention, or more attention than deserved, I thought you should be warned. In person, The Human Marvel’s, a “musical” man and wife duo:
1. Appear, skin flaring with tattoos, husband and wife each covered in ink - the man dons interconnecting jig-saw puzzle pieces, a dissection of his entire body.
2. Play simplistic middle-school metal band arrangements for bass and guitar while issuing equally pubescent, off key snarls against casiotone backbeats.
3. Continuously declare that “Our T-shirts are only 10 bucks and they come with a free CD” thus correctly pushing the merchandise over the music.
4. Circulate after the show menacingly soliciting addresses to which they will send “an assortment of goodies”.
5. In reverence to their time as card-carrying carnies (no joke) and performers on Ripley’s Believe it or Not actually perform the following tricks:
While these tricks may inspire interest in more perverse or twisted reader, they hardly live up to their descriptions. Set against the painful repetition of the same two power chords, the tricks are unnecessarily grotesque, and the music itself, is completely unnecessary, a further cruel trick played by the “band.”
The show moves at tortoise speed, an unsuccessful synthesis of music and spectacle. It doesn’t indulge or engage the perverse senses, but rather dulls them with bad tricks and equally awful music. Even as spectacle, it’s a waste.
I wouldn’t mention it at all, certainly not to give the thing any publicity, but I thought I’d let you know that I did you a favor. I saw the Human Marvels, so you don’t have to. And, trust me, you really don’t.