31 JANUARY 2001
A Dangerous Scenario
When the producers of Temptation Island showed up on
their designer beach, the contestants knew that
something serious was about to happen. However,
Ytossie and Taheed did not seem too surprised when
they found out that they were being removed from the
show because, it was revealed, they have a son
together -- very against the rules. Instead, the
couple quietly sat there, stoically accepted their
punishment, and then decided to stay on the island in
a separate location, hopefully to work through their
problems and come to some sort of an agreement. The
Fox producer broke the news to this couple by stating,
"Some information has come up that is problematic."
The producer told Ytossie and Taheed that their child
created a "dangerous scenario," and Fox was not
interested in potentially "fracturing" a relationship
involving a child. Well, as far as I'm concerned, it's
a little late for morality, dear Fox. I personally
cannot understand how the producers could have gone
through the entire selection process, and never known
that this couple had a child. I mean, if it's so
"problematic," then why was the question, "Do you have
a child?" never posed?
The only possible redeeming aspect to come out of all
this is that it should be making *TI* viewers have
second thoughts (if they haven't had them already).
The questions arising are important ones, for
instance, should unhappy couples stay in relationships
for the sake of their children? Can unhappy people
raise happy children? Ytossie and Taheed are clearly
miserable together, and each has lost complete respect
for the other. I can only imagine that, since it is
evident, their son feels this tension between mommy
and daddy and I can't imagine that it makes him feel
good. I really do hope, for their son's sake, that
they figure something out, and gain back just a touch
of respect for each other.
Now that only three couples remain, I predict that
Billy and Mandy will continue to amuse us with their
immaturity, Shannon and Andy will continue to be
lackluster, and Valerie and Kaya will surprise us with
some actual debauchery. Of course, I am basing my
predictions on the deceptive trailers that pop up each
week, the trailers that consistently promise drama
that never actually occurs. This week's preview showed
Kaya kissing his dark-haired date on a moonlit pier,
but I'm sure that the reality of the situation is far
less dramatic. He's probably kissing Valerie.
Actually, the best fun on this show are the teen
hysterics performed each week by Mandy and Billy.
These two poor souls plainly fit the mold that Fox had
in mind. Both are attractive, self-centered, and just
"crazy" enough to seem dramatic. But more importantly,
both are idiots. They routinely fall directly into the
show's obvious traps. This week, Mandy was upset that
Billy was doing a striptease for the female escorts,
so upset that she actually ran to the bathroom and
cried, with the cameras following her into the stall
-- creepy! I agree with her that her boyfriend looked
like an ass, but did she even factor in the amount of
empty glasses on the table in front of him? We all
know that alcohol can make relatively intelligent
people do really stupid things. All of the tapes
offered during this week's bonfire were oozing booze.
The only tape that didn't have drunk people in it was
the one with Andy and his designated single cuddling
in a hammock together.
It was, however, this tape that elicited the best
response from contestants. Shannon has opposed
watching these tapes throughout the entire show -- "I
don't need a visual," she says. She doesn't want to
see them because she knows that they are designed to
manipulate her. They always offer just enough "visual"
information, and then abruptly end, allowing your
soon-to-be-drunk brain to imagine the worst, and your
soon-to-drunk "friends" to fanning your greatest fears
into full-blown horror. I mean, would you really want
a spy-cam trained on your significant other in such a
situation? And then have someone with bad intentions
edit the tape and offer it to you to watch with
absolutely no context? Honestly, this seems like a
no-brainer.
My roommate has come up with a much better idea for a
show of this sort. Instead of manufacturing an island
setting to test relationships, Fox should come out
with *Temptation College*. Place first-year college
students at different schools from their high school
sweethearts, and turn on the cameras -- hey, it's
already happening on a daily basis. True, it's likely
that MTV would pick up this idea before Fox, who still
pretend not to be exploiting young and ill-advised
participants. And I think that MTV might do it right
-- their show would be far more interesting and
reality-based than the Fox fluff. Temptation Island
keeps descending into further realms of stupidity. The
best bet for next week is not that Kaya will cheat or
not cheat, but that the show will somehow manage to
sink yet another level.