11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos: The World's Greatest Infomercial
Just when it seemed as though Insane Clown Posse couldn't possibly top themselves, their "Miracles" video appears to have been nothing more than a trailer for the world's greatest infomercial: The 11th Annual Gathering of the Juggalos has hit the internet by way of over 17 minutes of some of the most curiously constructed foul language this side of a David Mamet play.
The gathering, billed as something of a Wild West with Faygo free-for-all, takes place in mid-August in a place called Cave-in-Rock, Illinois, within spitting distance of Kentucky.
While a 17-minute ad might seem excessive, the lineup boasts so many Juggalo-friendly acts over a four day period, anything shorter clearly wouldn't have been thorough enough. The roster also includes a handful of "Seriously?!?!?" moments, including Todd Bridges, Slick Rick, Ron Jeremy and '80s prop comic Gallagher, who even in his heyday struggled to engage his own audiences in what he clearly believed to be thought-provoking material ("Why do they call 'em apartments when they're stuck together?") when all they really wanted was to see him smash watermelon with a sledgehammer.
There's also flashlight wrestling, "comradery" and artist seminars, where presumably how magnets work will finally be explained. Suburban kids from Petaluma to Poughkeepsie are packing their makeup kits in rapt anticipation.
Somewhere beyond the grave, Billy Mays is wondering whether he couldn't have done something to prevent this.