The 10 things we learn from the lame future shock that is this latest kiddie-oriented action adventure.
Get ready to have your sons/nephews/classmates/local neighborhood kids going gonzo for Real Steel, the latest lame cinematic statement from that motion picture antichrist, Shawn Levy. As the man responsible for the reprehensible Night at the Museum films, as well as the equally awful Pink Panther remake, his mangled Midas touch remains intact. Though horribly uneven and spotty in both an action and/or adventure sense, this otherwise cracked crowdpleaser will have those prone to snips and snails and puppy dog tails running to their local Wal-Mart to lap up the latest battling robot action figures. And when the video game comes out - especially for the motion control possibilities of the Wii and Kinect - a whole new generation of console coach potatoes will be born.
But perhaps the most appalling thing about this supposed slice of future shock is its lack of forward thinking. This is a world where several products that we know today - Dr. Pepper, ESPN, Nokia - still exist, where the advances we wanted for 2001 are still nowhere to be seen 26 years later (the movie is set in 2027, it seems). The planet is not more multicultural, white people appear to still be the majority, and robots have reached the point where they can mimic human fisticuffs - but yet they aren't used as a labor or time saving force. Indeed, it's as if the script, supposedly partially based on Richard Matheson's short story, forgot that it was set sometime in the not too distant future and simply fudged a few tech geek tweaks.
So along with learning what it feels like to waste $10.50 at the local Cineplex, here are the top 10 things we learn about 2027 in Real Steel. Most of them are obvious. A few are fascinating. All become part of this movie's lunatic lameness, beginning with the backdrop: