Paul Carr: It’s evident from the blindingly obvious innuendo that Perry wants us to compare herself to a meal prepared by a Michelin-starred chef in a ridiculously over-priced restaurant where tap water costs at least a tenner. However, this is about as sensual and erotic as a prospective lover turning up at your house having prepared a meal out of everything they’ve found in the bin. Perry sounds genuinely unhinged like she doesn’t quite understand how deranged and unarousing it sounds to compare yourself to a buffet. Especially when you consider that a buffet usually consists of mostly stubby cocktail sausages and withering egg sandwiches. If that wasn’t bad enough, Migos contribute some demented, Auto-Tuned yelps that sound like the dying noises of an Amiga 500 as it is smashed up with a hammer. Seemingly desperate to impress, they come across like a baby brother and his best friend desperately to impress his big sister’s mates. All in all, this is a meal that should be sent back to the chef. [3/10]
Adriane Pontecorvo: A charmless pop tune that takes itself too seriously, “Bon Appétit” could never have been great. It could have been fun, maybe, if it had gone in a campier direction and shown a little self-awareness. But when cannibal vibes meet sultry sexuality, things get bizarre – the shots of Katy Perry getting sensually floured and kneaded are cringeworthy. The beat, meanwhile, is dated; between the generic, watery electronics and increasingly ridiculous food-related lyrics, it feels like a mid-2000s parody of a pop song instead of a real hit single. It doesn’t even sound like Perry is buying it; her delivery starts flat and stays that way throughout the track. An autotuned Migos cameo doesn’t do much to help. Did anyone have a good time working on this song? [2/10]
Morgan Y. Evans: This song has 50 million views, which as a critic means you have your job cut out for you if you dislike parts of it and aren’t likely to change minds. Visually this is a well done video. Katy’s voice sounds awesome as always. Migos usually come off as really lazy and, like Future, catering to some of the most frustrating trends in rap, but the verses here are tighter, they don’t dress like Indians, and it all works well with Perry’s pop vocal. The “what’s the price?” lyric is pretty gross, but the “whip cream, no dairy” line is kind of funny. I don’t know. I used to side with Perry in her Swift feud and wrote mean things about Taylor once, but Perry’s Snapchat at the Forum to the not exactly feminist “bitch” lines of Yeezy’s “Famous” flipped it all for me (as did that Kanye song in general).
As a performer, Perry brings the house down and is at her best when she empowers (“Roar”). I love Katy’s voice and have no problem with some sex positive songs, but Ruby Rose is right that “…to go from rebranding as political activist only to ditch it and go low is a bummer”. Rose was talking about a different new song “Swish Swish” of Perry’s that seems to throw shade at Swift, but I too wish Perry would be more consistent. Swift has always been more like Metallica used to be by being more apolitical to try to bring more people together, unless body shamed or calling out someone she felt mistreated by. She’s donated tons of money to fans like Minaj is now doing but is told she is fake. I’m more interested in hearing new Taylor music as Perry right now seems way more on point with visual elements than some of the musical themes. [5/10]
Mike Schiller: It’s hard to pick out the worst line in this one — I’m torn between “Got me spread like a buffet” and “So you want some more? / Well I’m open 24”, but there are plenty more to choose from. The extended food metaphor is forced at best, and while it does manage to get stuck in your head, you’re not going to want it there. The beat’s not bad I guess. A song like this feels a little like a reaction to Katy Perry’s recent reputation for pop songs that double as motivational speeches, as she’s going way out of her way here to prove she can still rock a sexy pop song, but this isn’t the way to do it. [3/10]
Steve Horowitz: Katy Perry is well-known for starting a song with a catchy melody and droning on so long that one forgets why one started listening in the first place. This song fits the pattern. The metaphor of a lover being good enough to eat is an oldie but goodie. Cannibalism as an act of love, sure, why not? But just like eating a whole cake is never as good as having slices when hungry, this song is too cloying to be enjoyed whole. Migos add nothing special to the mix. [4/10]