Film

Who's Minding the Store: 27 March, 2007

Forget all the other offerings this week. Pay no attention to the tepid horror films from an overhyped festival or those carefully commercialized cartoons. Heck, just avoid the whole stinking lot and make sure you pick up a copy of Alfonso Cuarón's spectacular Children of Men. More or less rescuing sci-fi from the constant Star Warring of George Lucas and his ilk, this stunning cinematic achievement was criminally overlooked come end of the year awards season. Here at SE&L however, we put it right up there with The Prestige, The Fountain and Pan's Labyrinth as an indicator of 2006's best. Though the lack of a theatrical setting will cause the scope to shrink a bit, there is no denying the power in what Cuarón created here. All other releases this Tuesday are forced to take a back seat to this astonishing movie. For further comment on this classic, look no further than our proposed pick for the week of 27 March:

Children of Men

One of last year's most amazing motion picture experiences (and illegitimately ignored titles) Alfonso Cuarón single handedly reinvented the speculative fiction genre with this look at a world gone infertile. Some have argued over the movie's metaphoric meaning, which looks at life in London during a rebellion-suppressing siege, and suddenly see symbols of the current Western war on terror. But there is more to this magnificent masterpiece than party politics. What Cuarón accomplished was the ideal immersion of subject matter and audience member, creating a perfect parallel universe where we recognize ourselves, and imagine our reactions to the situations occurring. Then there is the brilliant camerawork by Emmanuel Lubezki (who should have his own golden statue), cinematography stuffed with amazing tracking shots and brilliant war zone ambiance. For this film alone, Cuarón would demand respect. When placed within his already impressive oeuvre, however, it becomes an omniscient omen of great things to come.

Other Titles of Interest

AfterDark HorrorFest: 8 Films to Die For

You have to admit – it's a nifty gimmick. Take eight low budget, under the radar horror films, stick them together in a single marathon festival showing, and hype the holy Hell out of it. This is what the people at AfterDark did, and now seven of the onerous octet are arriving on DVD. You too can experience the shattering scary movie letdown of seeing publicized terror turn tepid right before you eyes.

Color Me Kubrick

It's the perfect story for a film – a homosexual travel agent named Alan Conway fleeced dozens of people in the mid-'90s by impersonating (rather badly, most say) the famous reclusive filmmaker. And in John Malkovich, director Brian Cook has the perfect gone to seed lead. But for some reason, the random events depicted never add up to anything meaningful. The result is a film that feels humorless and half-baked. div>

Happy Feet

This year's unlikely Oscar winner (beating out Cars and Monster House) proves that penguin power is still alive and well. Besides, it's cool to think of Mad Max's George Miller picking up his first Academy Award for a CGI kid flick, not some amplified action adventure epic. If you can survive the shtick provided by a couple of the voice cast members (why, Robin Williams – WHY???), you'll clearly treasure this musical treat.

Turistas

Thank you, Eli Roth. Thank you so BLOODY much. When Mr. Cabin Fever released his masterful post-modern Ugly American condemnation Hostel on an unsuspecting world, many cited it as the beginning of a new, nauseating horror genre – violence porn. They were wrong. THIS is the actual result – a horrid hackjob about adolescents gone gratuitous that offers none of the terror or talent that Roth exhibited.

Van Wilder: The Rise of Taj

How do you make a sequel to a movie that your original star no longer wants to be associated with? Why, pick on a supporting player and start shooting – film, that is. While some might think this kind of goofball gross out comedy went the way of the Farrelly Brothers' Me, Myself and Irene, the reality is that small budgeted idiocy of this kind continues to make a minor profit - thus this pointless follow-up

And Now for Something Completely Different

Pervert

Proudly proclaiming its debt to Russ Meyer and the frisky exploitationers of the '50s and '60s, outsider auteur Jonathan Yudis (most noted for working on Spike TV's Adult Party revamp of Nickelodeon faves Ren and Stimpy) has ALMOST made one of the best worst movies ever. Starring "adult film star" Mary Carey (who does bear a decent resemblance to her Grammy winning namesake) and a remarkable Darrell Sandeen in the mandatory Stuart Lancaster roll, what we get here is part horror film, part softccore smut fest and a whole lot of bare naked bosom. In fact, the film is flawless for its first 40 or so minutes, easily mixing screwball comedy and lots of Carrey caressing her cans. When she finally leaves the narrative (for reasons that won't be spoiled here), her replacements can't keep things afloat. The rest of the randy monkey business kind of flops around, never finding the perky pace of the previous pulchritude. As long as you ignore this questionable quibble, you're sure to have a good time.

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