Various Artists : Kitsuné Parisien III

It’s been a while since Kitsuné’s seemingly seasonal compilations were worth ebaying your internal organs for, but they’re usually worth shaking down for at least one or two buried treasures. Par example the stoned-immaculate conception that was Saint Lou Lou’s “Maybe You” from last October’s Kitsuné 14. But sacré bleu as we may, mon amour, have finally smoked our last Gauloise with this year’s model. Oui, III does have a penchant for la discotheque over twee, skinny-tied indie nonsense, which would normally signal “Pass the Moët”… but, “Non”. One listen to Kitsuné’s latest protégés and you’d think our Comrades en Française had all but stubbed out any dreams of “La Fantastique Révolution du Musique!” in favour of slumpin’ about, “Cherching les femmes” whilst nonchalantly churning-out generic, half-asleep, Air-by-numbers “Floaty-synthy”.

Of course the wacky band names are present and correct (Monsieur Monsieur, G.A.Y, Le Crayon and eLBeeBaD) but Mon Dieu! Le Tunes? L’Edge? L’attitude? Où ètes-vous? D’accord, Pyramid’s “WOLF” has un petit peu of J.U.S.T.I.C.E’s laser stomp and the lipstick ‘n’ neon Italo of Cinema’s “UV” is almost enough to make Ryan Gosling drive the long way home but only the 11th hour saviours of Fauve’s beatific, “Cool like Jean Seberg” “Kané” and the sizzling, sultry sunsets of Saint Michel’s “Don’t Bother” offer any convincing stay of execution. Paris, fetch your Molotovs, Kitsuné is making you look dull.