American Horror Story: Hotel Season 5, Episode 10 “She Gets Revenge”

American Hotel Story won’t be back on until January, but there were some pretty amazing developments thrown out for us to remember fondly, if you will, until then.

Let’s get Detective Lowe’s (Wes Bentley) story out of the way first, because although no one much cares for him at this point, he is the backbone of this whole mess. The serial killer checklist is going quite well; only one left before the Ten Commandments Trophy Room will be open for exhibition. He’s also caught on to the fact that his wife Alex (Chloe Sevigny) is no longer human. This does not seem to really upset him. The fact she tried to make him think he was crazy, now that upsets him. But all’s fair in unhealthy love and doomed marriages, so they both call a truce when John helps Alex round up the vampire children and trap them in the between-the-walls dungeon of the hotel. They’ve achieved a sort of inner peace as they all but skip out of the Cortez, holding hands and blissfully blessed with the presence of their precious Holden.

Meanwhile, we have no idea where their daughter is, and even they have the grace to admit to being horrible parents. Then they have sex. Get. Your. Daughter. Sheesh. Attention spans of gnats, these people.

There’s only one hiccup (since we’re no longer considering the poor, abandoned daughter an issue) and that’s Sall. Screaming and threatening to kill him, Sally will not be left behind by John yet again. There’s pathetic desperation and then there’s Sally. She takes it to a whole new level. The level where you just want her to die, die, die, my darling because we’re not so much repulsed by her neediness but embarrassed. Dignity, thy name is not Sally.

Even John wants to choke her out but alas, you can’t kill a dead woman. A flash of the Addiction Demon hints at future problems for Sally as she finally crumples in defeat.

Iris (Kathy Bates) and Liz (Denis O’Hare) make a pact to kill themselves after witnessing an old couple check in for a last hurrah and check out with guns to each others’ heads. Their love for each other is just as strong and everyone else has let them down so why not peace out together?

It’s important to note that even though Iris is a vampire, she can still be killed. In this world, vampires are immortal until they’re not. The plan is all set until Liz makes a connection with his estranged son. All grown-up now, Douglas arrives at the hotel and hits it off immediately with Liz. Unlike, oh, every other parallel in films and TV, Douglas provides a refreshing change as he tells Liz he know who he is and that he accepts him.

It’s so nice to see a healthy familial relationship in this show. Liz tells Iris he no longer wants to die, he has something to live for now. Isn’t that just like a (former) man to let a woman down?

Speaking of the other men who have let Iris down, Donovan (Matt Bomer) takes his destiny in his own hands and blows Rudolph Valentino’s pretty face to hell. Just as the Countess (Lady Gaga) offs Natacha (Alexandra Daddario) so she and Rudy can finally be together. Bitch, please. Nothing is ever as easy as that. Except for Rudolph’s death. Which is a fantastic bit of kitsch as he brandishes a sword at Donovan who just straight up shoots him.

The need to live comes through strong as every character fights to keep their heads from rolling but it’s anyone’s guess who will make it to the final episode. Per, AHS tradition, the last few episodes severely cull down the number of cast members and Hotel is no exception as Liz and Iris top off this winter finalé by barging in on the Countess and Donovan in their ultimate “Say hello to my little friend,” moment.